Ice Cream Jokes

Never in a month of sundaes will you find a funnier collection of ice cream jokes and puns than these. So come into our parlor, make your self comfortable and enjoy your just desserts!

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Funny Ice Cream Jokes And Puns

Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought, “The streets are strangely desserted tonight.”

My wife asked me if I ate the ice cream she had in the freezer.

I told her no. I ate it on the couch.

I have a lactose intolerant friend who sells ice cream for a living.

He can’t take it, but he can dish it out.

What’s that Italian dessert called where you pour espresso coffee over ice cream?

Everyone I ask can’t remember either.

I asked my girlfriend if she’d like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends.

She said “Yes!”.

I said “Good, because I’m breaking up with you.”

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Ice cream soda.

Ice cream soda who?

Ice cream soda whole neighborhood can hear me!

A man is on is death sentence and he gets to choose his last meal.

He asks his guard for a McDonald’s ice cream, and lives a very long life because they never found a working machine.

Did you hear about the ice cream that died recently?

Hundreds and thousands attended his funeral.

Where do you learn to make ice cream?

Sundae school.

Why do Texans serve pie with ice cream?

They remember the a la mode.

Bert: Ernie, should we go out for ice cream?

Ernie: Sherbert.

Why couldn’t the color blind man sell ice cream?

His cones don’t work.

Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the military?

Apparently you get arrested for desserting.

Does anyone feel like an ice cream?

Funny, you don’t look like an ice cream.

Whenever my Muslim friend goes to pray, I usually join him with some apple pie and ice cream.

So that both of us are in a la mode.

How does Reese eat her ice cream?


I was sacked from the ice cream factory today.

Just because I refused to work on a sundae.

What is Homer Simpson’s favorite ice cream?

Cookie d’oh!

Girlfriend: “Hey look this ice cream place has sundaes for $4.50!”

Me: “How much do Saturday’s cost?”

I got an ice cream for my girlfriend.

Best trade I ever made.

What do you call someone who sells their body for Wendy’s ice cream?

A frosty-tute.

My friend turned into an ice cream cone whilst on holiday.

He’s been a wafer so long now.

The ice cream truck is going down the street.

A woman runs after it but it doesn’t see her and keeps going.

She keeps following until the driver sees her in his mirror.

He stops and she’s out of breath, gasping for air.

The driver says, “Hey, sorry about that, I didn’t see you, what can I get you?”

The woman gasps, “I just wanted to tell you… I’m vegan.”

What do you call an instructor at an ice cream parlor?

A sundae school teacher.

A guy with a whimpering faint voice orders an ice cream.

The vendor asks, “Crushed nuts?”

The guy whimpers back, “No. Laryngitis.”

What’s the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend?

One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.

My small friend always argues that vanilla, chocolate and strawberry are the three best ice cream flavors.

I think he has a Neapolitan complex.

An old man walked into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself gently, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, “Crushed nuts?”

“No,” he replied, “Arthritis.”

I was offered a job at the local ice cream shop but I turned it down.

I don’t like working on sundaes.

Why did the soldier stuff himself with ice cream?

He was a desserter.

Why did the reporter visit the ice cream parlor?

To get the latest scoop.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed these funny ice cream jokes and puns, why not sample the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these:

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