Sunday Jokes

Sunday is a great day because it is often a day of rest. It’s also a great day because there are lots of funny jokes about it, such as these hilarious Sunday jokes and puns!

Header image for a page of funny Sunday jokes and puns.

Funny Sunday Jokes And Puns

Why is Sunday stronger than Monday?

Because Monday is a weak day.

(Monday: Greg) (Tuesday: Ian) (Wednesday: Greg) (Thursday: Ian) (Friday: Greg) (Saturday: Ian) (Sunday: Greg).

It’s the Gregorian calendar.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Those were the days…

Sunday may be gloomy and dark.

But the day before is a sadder day.

I bought a second hand time machine next Sunday.

They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.

I like to brag that after 12 years of marriage I still have sex with my wife almost every day!

Almost on Monday.

Almost on Tuesday.

Almost on Wednesday.

Almost on Thursday.

Almost on Friday.

Almost on Saturday.

Almost on Sunday.

Baking on Easter Sunday.

Crust is risen! Hallelujah!

My friend is a Roman Catholic priest, great at his job – he absolutely kills it every Sunday.

He’s a mass murderer.

I spend all my Sunday mornings sitting on my couch and watching F1, which drives my wife crazy.

She says, “Why are you staring at your keyboard for hours?”

“Dad, I’m thirsty!”

“I’m Friday. Come over Saturday and we’ll have a Sunday!”

Just a reminder, Father’s Day is Sunday.

Not this Sunday, but it is on a Sunday this year!

My wife asked me, “Why are there holes in your pants?”

I said, “It’s Sunday right?”

“Yeah?”

“Well these are my holy pants.”

Why do fish get lonely at the weekends?

Because there’s no school on Saturdays and Sundays.

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

Saturday, Sunday.

I’m thinking about going into day trading. If anyone is interested, hit me up.

I have a Monday or Wednesday I can trade you for an extra Saturday or Sunday.

Yesterday I was at a Thai Buddhist temple in my city.

The secondary meditation instructor was just chatting with the group a bit before things began.

He was explaining to me that on Sundays the temple has language classes.

Someone else asked if he spoke Thai.

He then explained to us that he didn’t complete all the courses and considers himself…

A Thai school drop out.

Every year on this day, I give my friend the choice between eating soup or going bowling with me.

It’s how I celebrate Soup or Bowl Sunday.

Only once a year is there a Mother’s Day and a Father’s Day…

But every week there’s a Sunday.

What do you call a Sunday dinner eaten on a Monday?

Cold.

At my church, every Sunday we eat apples and work on math problems.

Because God said to be fruit-full and multiply.

Did you hear the story about Saturday and Sunday?

It’s got a great start but quite a weekend.

Next week is National Diarrhea Week.

Runs until Sunday.

Nothing interesting ever happens on Sunday.

It’s basically just a glorified weekday.

Why do baseball bats tend to break near the grip on Saturdays and Sundays?

Because it’s the weekend.

Every Sunday I read the Times and complain to my kids about that orange haired narcissist dominating the paper by insulting and mocking everyone, especially those closest to him.

That Garfield needs to learn how to think about more than just himself and his next plate of lasagna.

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

Pretty Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.

Satan walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”

The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

Satan asked, “Aren’t you going to run?”

“Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man.

Perturbed, Satan asked, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”

The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”

One Sunday, a priest decides he doesn’t want to go to church so he goes golfing instead.

He calls his deacon to tell him he is sick and the deacon agrees to preach on his behalf.

So the priest grabs his golf clubs. He drives for a while, finding a course where he wouldn’t be recognized, and starts playing his game.

He tees up on the first whole, squares off, and hits the ball.

To his great surprise, it flies perfectly off the tee, heads downrange, and onto the green.

To his further surprise, when he gets to the green, he finds that the ball had landed in the hole.

The priest is jubilant. Never, in 20 years of golfing has he been able to hit a hole in one.

He grabs his ball and moves onto the next hole. There he tees up, takes a few practice swings, and hits the ball.

Again, it flies perfectly down the course, and this time before he even heads down the course he is sure the ball is in the hole.

Hole after hole this continues. The priest is jubilant. It’s the best golf game he has ever had!

Up in heaven, Jesus is sitting beside God watching the priest. He looks over and says, “Are you really going to let him get away with this?”

God smiles. “Who is he going to tell?”

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed these funny Sunday jokes and puns, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these: