Peter Pan Jokes And Puns

Bad jokes may Neverland, but with these funny Peter Pan jokes you’re sure to be hooked because they never get old!

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Funny Peter Pan Jokes

Why do you always laugh at a joke about Peter Pan, even if you have heard it before.

It never gets old.

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he can Neverland.

Who has two thumbs and loves Peter Pan?

Not Captain Hook.

What’s Peter Pan’s least favorite part of a song?

The hook.

No one ever talks about Peter Pan’s brother.

Peter Pots.

Why did Peter Pan fail as a comedian?

Because his jokes Neverland.

What’s Peter Pan’s favorite restaurant?

Wendy’s.

I asked Peter Pan how Captain Hook would vent his frustration.

“Beat Smee,” he replied.

“Oh, sorry.” I said. “I thought you’d know.”

My friend decided to go indoor skydiving dressed as Peter Pan.

I told him, “You’ll Neverland!”

Why can’t Peter Pan defeat Captain Hook?

Because his punches Neverland.

What is Peter Pan’s favorite animal?

A tinker-bull.

How excited was Wendy to go to Neverland?

She was so excited that she nearly Peter Pans.

What is another name for the tick-tock croc from Peter Pan?

A Clock-odile.

I like to spoil the plot of Peter Pan for people.

Never gets old.

Why is Peter Pan on the no-fly list?

Whenever he boards a plane it Neverlands.

What is Peter Pan’s sweet sister’s name?

Marzi Pan.

What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?

A Diction Fairy.

What do you call Peter Pan when he’s barbequing?

Peter Grill.

I read a joke about an alternate ending to Peter Pan where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter Pan back to London in a body bag.

Not very funny and quite dark, but it requires a dead Pan delivery.

Why does Tinkerbell never wear trousers?

She Peter Pans.

What do they call Peter Pan in China?

Peter Wok.

Peter Pan has flown to almost all of the countries in the world…

But never Netherlands.

Why did Peter Pan know he could beat Captain Hook in poker?

He knew Captain Hook had lost at least one hand.

After years upon years of fighting, kidnapping/fairynapping, and pilfering, the two rivals decide to agree to a truce, as both are realizing that their hearts are no longer in the fight.

They agree that Pan and the Lost Boys will stay mostly on the mainland, and Hook and the Pirates will stay out to sea, only coming to port for supplies at Tiger Lily’s tribe.

However, the only thing the two can’t agree upon is how far Hook and crew will be able to venture inland for trade.

Hook wants to be able to go to the village proper, and Pan thinks they should only be allowed on the area where they dock.

To settle this, they agree to a debate, with the Chief as the moderator.

Pan consults the Darling children, the Lost Boys, the mermaids… anyone he can think of to support his argument.

Hook consults with Smee and his crew.

Finally, the day arrives and Pan eloquently delivers his point of view, countering each of Hook’s points brilliantly and in a way that would make Michael Darling quite proud.

However, at the end of it all, Hook merely snarls, sticks out his tongue and smirks knowingly at the Chief.

Surprisingly, the Chief sides with Hook and allows him into the village, to the dismay of Pan and Tiger Lily.

After Hook leaves smugly, Pan walks up to the Chief.

“Chief,” he says, “I thought I had done really well today, using words to fight instead of my knife and hands. Everyone in the crowd appears to have been on my side. Tell me… what did Hook say that convinced you?”

The Chief looked at Pan and, after a moment’s thought, replied, “Well, on one hand, you did have a very good argument and countered his points skillfully. On the other hand, Hook had a point.”

Why was Peter Pan fired from his job as a pilot?

He could Neverland.

What do you call an old Peter Pan?

Dust pan.

Jokes About Peter Pan

If you enjoyed these puns and jokes about Peter Pan, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more hilarious jokes, such as these:

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