Your wish is our command and these funny fairy jokes and puns are a dream come true! Enjoy this page of fairy tale laughter!
Funny Fairy Jokes And Puns
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Rapunzel is not a fairy tale.
It’s a hairy tale.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
What do you call a pixie who double-majored in physics and genealogy?
The fairy of relativity.
I hear there’s a fairy tale princess who actually knows quite a few dad jokes.
The tooth fairy teaches children that…
They can sell body parts for money.
My little girl asked me today, “Daddy, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time?'”
I replied, “No honey, some of them begin with ‘If I’m elected.'”
A professor, a janitor, and the school’s principal are leaving for the day when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says, “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.”
The professor says, “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?”
So he is teleported into a classroom. After just a few minutes, he can’t take the kids’ screaming any longer, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The principal says, “I’ll be a waitress. All you do is carry food back and forth. This’ll be a breeze.”
She is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive her insane, so she smashes her plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says, “I’d like to be an artist.”
He is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, and sells it for several million dollars.
The fairy asks the janitor, “The other two did not go well at their job. How were you able to become so successful?”
The janitor says “I have a masters degree in art.”
I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.
Well now that I’m older I don’t fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.
Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.
One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?”
The fairy godmother replied, “Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?”
Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: “The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I’m living hand to mouth on my disability checks and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.”
Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Cinderella said, “Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother!”
The fairy godmother replied, “It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?”
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, “I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had.”
At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.
And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: “You have one more wish; what shall it be?”
Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, “I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.”
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.
The fairy godmother said, “Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life.”
With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.
For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.
Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered…
“Bet you’re sorry you neutered me now.”
Who’s the poorest person in West Virginia?
The Tooth Fairy.
Tom and Anna are both 60 years old and have been married for 40 years.
One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.”
The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof! She’s holding two tickets to Thailand and a five star hotel voucher for two.
The man says, “Wow, that’s one chance in a lifetime! I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.”
“Are you sure?” asks the fairy.
“Yes!” replies Tom without hesitation.
Poof once more! And Tom is 90.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale.
I gave her some bread crumbs and left her in the forest.
I heard that Fairy Tale merchandise is on sale!
Now, that’s what I call fair retail!
We’re so poor that the tooth fairy gave us food stamps
Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed our funny fairy jokes and puns, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes to make your laughter wishes come true, such as these: