These funny skeleton jokes and puns are sure to tickle your funny bone! They’re perfect for adding a little humor to Halloween, or indeed any other occasion. And there are skele-tons of them, so enjoy this selection of the best skeleton jokes and skeleton puns…
Funny Skeleton Jokes
What’s a skeleton’s favorite food?
Spare ribs.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why do skeletons drink lots of milk?
Because it’s good for the bones.
What do you call a skeleton who won’t do any work?
A lazy bones.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they don’t have any organs.
Why don’t skeletons like parties?
Because they have no body to dance with.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why aren’t skeletons brave?
Because they have no guts.
Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I’ll have a beer please, and a mop.
What does a skeleton use to call his friends?
A tele-bone.
What do skeletons say before they start to eat?
Bone appetit!
Why don’t skeletons each much?
Because they don’t have the stomach for it.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
The trom-bone.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite song?
Bone To Be Wild.
How did the skeleton know that it was going to rain?
Because he could feel it in his bones.
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because he was feeling bonely.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What kind of plates do skeletons eat off?
Bone china.
Why do skeletons hate the winter?
Because the cold goes right through them.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite pop group?
Boney M.
What is a skeleton’s favorite form of measurement?
Graveyards.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire too long?
He became bone dry.
Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain?
It didn’t have the guts.
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
Why do skeletons make bad comedians?
Because they don’t have a single funny bone in them. Except in the arm. That’s humerus.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
With trembling hands, my doctor looked up from my x-ray and stammered, “This is exactly what I was afraid of.”
Gripping my chest, I rasped, “What?”
Eyes wide, he whispered, “Skeletons!”
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
“Bone voyage!”
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
You can see right through them.
As a joke, I hid the arms of the dummy skeleton in the bio lab.
My teacher was not amused.
He did not find that humerus.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What is a skeleton’s favorite weapon?
A bone arrow.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
What would a human look like in 1000 years?
A skeleton.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
Where do skeletons take their cars to be repaired?
The body shop.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite kind of tree?
A bone-sai tree.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures.
What’s a skeleton’s coolest body part?
The hip.
Where do bad skeleton jokes belong?
In the skelebin.
Jokes About Skeletons
If you enjoyed our funny skeleton jokes and puns, be sure to check out the rest of our Halloween jokes and other Halloween fun too, including these:
- Bat Jokes.
- Black Cat Jokes.
- Broom Stick Jokes.
- Cannibal Jokes.
- Dracula Jokes.
- Frankenstein Jokes.
- Funny Halloween Quotes.
- Ghost Jokes.
- Halloween Jokes For Adults.
- Halloween Knock Knock Jokes.
- Halloween Puns.
- Halloween Riddles For Kids.
- Halloween Trivia Questions.
- Haunted House Jokes.
- Jack-O-Lantern Jokes.
- Monster Jokes.
- Mummy Jokes.
- Pumpkin Jokes.
- Spider Jokes.
- Vampire Jokes.
- Werewolf Jokes.
- Witch Jokes.
- Zombie Jokes.