There’s nothing fowl about these funny turkey jokes and puns, they’re hilarious! And the good news is that we’ve stuffed as many of them in as we can fit!
1. What do you call a rude turkey?
2. Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
3. What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
4. What do you call a Thanksgiving turkey that comes back to haunt you?
5. What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve them lots of pizza and ice cream.
6. What do you get when you teach a turkey witty ripostes?
A turkey that roasts you.
7. What do you call an offbeat turkey?
8. What sound does a turkey’s iPhone make?
Wing, Wing, Wing.
9. What does a turkey like to eat on Thanksgiving?
Nothing, they’re already stuffed.
10. What does a one-legged turkey say?
11. What’s the number one key to a great Thanksgiving?
12. What do turkeys drink out of?
13. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself.
14. Why can’t turkeys attend church?
They can’t help using fowl language.
15. What do you call a sarcastic turkey?
16. What kind of weather does a turkey like?
17. Gravy is baste on turkey drippings.
18. Why do turkeys make bad baseball players?
They only hit fowl balls.
19. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
“If your father could see you now, he’d be turning over in his gravy!”
20. What is a turkey’s favorite tree?
21. What did the leftover turkey said after it was wrapped up and refrigerated?
22. Why did the Pilgrim kill the turkey?
Because he was in a fowl mood.
23. What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, google, google.
24. November: We start the month out stuffing ballots to elect some turkey, we end the month stuffing a turkey to increase our ballast.
25. What do turkeys like to do on sunny days?
26. What do you call a bird that’s bad at bowling?
A gutter ball turkey.
27. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
28. If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small turkey?
29. Why shouldn’t you stare at the turkey dressing?
Because it will make him blush.
30. What do you call an over-caffeinated turkey?
31. What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.
32. Why do turkeys lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they would break.
33. What did the turkey dress up as for Halloween?
34. I ate so much over the holidays that I’ve decided to quit cold turkey.
35. Did you hear about the guy who was found dead at a turkey farm?
They suspect fowl play.
36. What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
God save the kin.
37. What’s the most musical part of a turkey?
38. Have you heard about the conservative turkey?
It has two right wings.
39. A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys, but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
40. Last Thanksgiving, my mother told me “If your brothers start arguing, don’t take sides.”
Sure enough, they yelled at each other and I could only have turkey.
41. Shot my first turkey today…
Scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen food section.
42. What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
43. What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
44. What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
45. When is turkey soup bad for your health?
When you’re the turkey.
46. What do you call a turkey’s evil twin?
47. Why doesn’t a turkey like math?
Because when he added 3 to 5, he got ate.
48. My kids told me that they want a cat for Christmas this year.
We normally cook a turkey for Christmas, but if they want a cat, okay.
49. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone.
50. Don’t ever attend Thanksgiving with a group of comedians.
They’ll never stop roasting the turkey.