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Funny Frog Jokes And Puns
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
How does a frog with a broken leg feel?
Unhoppy.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
Where do you get frog’s eggs?
At the spawn shop.
What’s a frog’s favorite game?
Croak-et.
What did the frog dress up as on Halloween?
A prince.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
What’s white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Why didn’t the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
What’s green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
What did the frog say as he looked through the books at the library?
Read it! Read it! Read it!
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
What’s green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
What’s a frog’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
What’s green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
When is a car like a frog?
When it’s being toad.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
What’s a frog’s favorite flower?
A croakus.
Where is a frog’s favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald’s?
French flies and a diet croak.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart’s new?
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time’s sure fun when you’re having flies.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
What is a frog’s favorite time?
Leap year.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
What’s a frog’s favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
He says to her, “Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $10,000 loan to take a holiday.”
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog tells her his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral, to which the frog replies, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall – bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $10,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.”
She holds up the tiny pink elephant to show the manager. “I mean, what in the world is this?”
The bank manager looks back at her and says, “It’s a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.
What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?
They share the same middle name.
I watched a documentary on frogs the other day.
It was ribbiting.
Who is Batfrog’s nemesis?
The Croaker.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed our collection of funny frog jokes and puns, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more animal jokes, including these:
