Owls are beautiful creatures that are associated with wisdom. They’re also the subject of some of the most painful puns! Which we love of course, so we hope you enjoy this collection of funny owl jokes and puns.
If you do, you’ll probably also like the rest of our animal jokes too.
What’s the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I’d just got engaged.
He said, “You twit! To who?”
What do you can an owl who’s been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
The wife and I dressed as Peruvian owls for Halloween.
We were Inca hoots.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He’s not old, he just has a bad neck.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
What do you get if you cross an owl with a skunk?
A bird that smells, but doesn’t give a hoot.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn’t bothered.
He couldn’t give a hoot.
I’ve just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can’t use it until 2/8/20.
A man goes to the movies and what looks like an owl comes in and sits next to him.
The man’s a little surprised and asks, “Are you an owl?”
“Yes,” replies the owl.
The man asks, “What are you doing at the movies?”
The owl says, “Well, I liked the book.”
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What’s an owl’s favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What’s the difference between a sniper with Parkinson’s Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can’t hit…
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
I was shooting some 8-ball pool with an owl the other day.
When he took his shot he made a foul as his wing brushed against a ball.
I said, “That’s two hits.”
He replied, “Two hits to who?”
You sound like an owl.
What’s an owl’s favorite subject at school?
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
This devoutly religious cowboy loses his favorite Bible while he was out mending fences one day.
A few weeks later, an owl walks up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy can’t believe what’s happening. He takes his precious book from the owl’s mouth and raises his eyes to the heavens.
He says, “It’s a miracle!”
“Not really,” says the wl. “Your name is written inside the cover.”
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
What kind of books do owls read?
What does a well-educated owl say?
The owl in my garden told me he was going to go looking for a girlfriend. It started raining and half an hour later he was still in the garden.
I said to him, “Why haven’t you gone?”
He said, “Too wet to woo!”
What’s the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One’s awake in the night and the other’s a wake in the day.
What do confused owls say?
Why did the owl join the dating website?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
What happens if an owl doesn’t wash?
It smells fowl.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
What does an owl need after having a bath?
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
What sits in a tree and says “Hoots mon, hoots mon?”
A Scottish owl.
What do you call an owl escapologist?
Why didn’t the night owl go to the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
Why don’t owls study for tests?
They prefer to wing it.
Why did the owl ‘owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck ‘er.
What’s the difference between a tuna, a piano, and an owl?
I don’t know.
You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna.
What about the owl?
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
What’s an owl’s favorite rock group?
Where do owls go to buy their young baby clothes?
To the owlet malls.
Where are owls that commit crimes sent as punishment?
What’s an owl’s favourite drink?