Penguin Jokes

Luckily for you we didn’t get cold feet about bringing you these funny penguin jokes and puns! They’re great for breaking the ice! Enjoy them!

Header image for a page of funny penguin jokes and puns.

Funny Penguin Jokes And Puns

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together.

Why are fat penguins so popular at parties?

They know how to break the ice.

A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”

The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”

The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”

What does the penguin waiter say?

Waddle it be?

How do penguins know when there’s something wrong?

It smells a bit fishy.

When I become a lawyer, I want to defend a penguin.

Just so I can say, “Your honour! My client clearly isn’t a flight risk.”

Two cows standing in a field, one says to the other, “You worried about that mad cow disease?”

The other cow says, “No, I’m a penguin.”

Why are penguins socially awkward?

Because they can’t break the ice.

Why don’t you ever see penguins in England?

They’re afraid of Wales.

Who is the penguin’s favourite aunt?

Aunt Arctica.

What do penguins sing on a birthday?

Freeze a jolly good fellow.

I was going to make a joke about penguins.

Then I realized it just won’t fly.

The penguin couple got into another fight.

They really are on thin ice.

South America has the perfect weather for penguins.

It’s nice and Chile.

What goes black white, black white, back white?

A penguin rolling down a hill.

What goes black white, haha, black white, haha?

The penguin that pushed him.

What kind of fish do penguins catch at night?


What do penguins eat for lunch?


Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?

Because they don’t have pockets.

What do penguins wear on their heads?

Ice caps.

What do you call a penguin in the desert?


What’s black and white and spins around?

A penguin in a washing machine.

I just finished writing a book on penguins.

Now that I think about it, it would’ve been easier if I just wrote in on paper.

What’s black and white and red all over?

A sunburned penguin.

I said to my doctor, “I wake up thinking I’m a penguin, and by the end of the day I believe I’m an arctic fox.”

He told me I was bipolar.

Why did the penguin leave his bride at the altar?

He got cold feet.

Why can’t penguins fly?

They’re not tall enough to be pilots.

A penguin walks into a bar and says, “Hey there, I’m looking for my dad. Have you seen him?”

The bartender says, “What does he look like?”

How do a group of penguins make a decision?

Flipper coin.

Why didn’t the penguin and the polar bear get along?

Because they were polar opposites.

What’s the difference between a white penguin and a black penguin?

White penguins are walking towards you and black ones are walking away.

What did the ocean say to the penguin?

Nothing. It just waved.

Why didn’t the penguin jump off the iceberg?

Because he got cold feet.

What do you call a penguin with no eye?

A pengun.

When confronted by other birds about his inability to fly, the penguin was unflappable.

When I meet new people I always talk about my giant pet penguin.

It’s a good icebreaker.

A man is driving a van full of penguins and is pulled over by a cop.

“Sir,” says the policeman. “Are you aware that there are penguins in your van?”

“Yep,” says the man. “They’re my penguins. They belong to me.”

The policeman looks at the man in disbelief and then back at the penguins, who noot at him.

“Sir, I’m afraid this is unacceptable. I need you to take them to a zoo immediately.”

The man replies, “I’ll take them right away,” and drives off.

The next day, the police officer sees the same exact van driving by and to his astonishment, it is still full of penguins! He pulls the man over again, and notices that he and the penguins are all wearing sunglasses, sunscreen, and Hawaiian shirts.

The officer gapes at him and says, “Sir, I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!”

“Yes, I did,” the man replies. “And today I’m taking them to the beach.”

A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg.

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean.

To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him.

The narwhal comes over and the penguin asks, “Thank goodness you’re around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?”

The narwhal stares at him for a bit, then says, “Okay, so what are your hobbies?”

More Funny Animal Jokes

If you enjoyed these hilarious penguin jokes and puns, be sure to take a look at all our other animal jokes too, including these: