It would be amazing to be able to fly like a bird but while we can’t give you that ability, our bird jokes certainly take avian humor soaring to new heights. That’s right – we definitely didn’t wing it as far as these funny bird jokes and puns are concerned! We spent a lot of time making sure they were eggs-actly what you’re looking for. Enjoy!
Best Bird Jokes & Puns
1. What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
2. Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of prey.
3. Which birds are good at holding things together?
4. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
5. Why does a stork stand on one leg?
Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
6. I published a book about birds.
It flew off the shelf.
7. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
8. What do you call a very rude bird?
9. My pet bird can predict the future.
He’s an omen pigeon.
10. How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
With its sparrowchute.
11. What do you call a sad bird?
12. What kind of math do birds like?
13. Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don’t know the words.
14. How do chickens keep fit?
15. My friend was annoying me with all his bird puns…
But then I realised toucan play at that game.
16. What do you get when you cross a bird and a lawn mower?
17. When should you buy a bird?
When it’s going cheep.
18. What steals your stuff while you’re in the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
19. What do you call a sick eagle?
20. What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
21. What kind of bird can carry the most weight?
22. What do you call a parrot that flew away?
23. What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
24. What do you give a sick bird?
25. What do you call a baby bird who’s just written his first book?
A fledgling author.
26. What happens when ducks fly upside down?
They quack up.
27. Have you heard about the new GPS device for bird watchers?
It has tern by tern directions.
28. Which bird is always out of breath?
29. What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb?
A bald eagle.
30. What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
31. My friend has just been diagnosed with bird flu.
He thinks he’s the victim of fowl plague.
32. When my local farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder…
They’d have preferred to stay on the firm but auctions speak louder than birds.
33. Do birds know where they’re going when they fly south for the winter…
Or do they just wing it?
34. What kind of crime do you commit if you attack a bird?
A featheral offense.
35. I own a chicken farm and the birds on the ground are mine but I’m still paying for those sitting on the roosts…
They’re on higher perches.
36. What do you call 2,000 mockingbirds?
37. Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds.
They’ve left no tern unstoned.
38. What do you call a bird that’s afraid of heights?
39. Where do birds like to drink?
At the crow bar.
40. A new restaurant has opened in my town, serving the meat of exotic animals.
I just had the pelican.
It was delicious but the bill was enormous.