Crane your neck in this direction and wade through these funny crane jokes and puns! They definitely won’t give you the bird!
Funny Crane Jokes
1. Small babies may be delivered by a stork.
But larger babies are delivered by a crane.
2. What kind of birds are the best at building things?
Cranes.
3. “Sensei, I’ve been training for years, and I’m not getting any stronger. What’s going on?”
Have you seen the flock of cranes fly over the old mountain at sunrise?”
“Yes.”
“Have you seen the great lightning storms crack the sky before making way for a rainbow?”
“Yes.”
“Have you seen the fabled tiger as it hunts prey in the forest, quicker than the eye can see?”
“Yes, Sensei.”
“That’s the problem. You keep watching stupid stuff instead of practicing!”
4. What kind of bird do you find in Chernobyl?
U-crane.
5. Why did they call a veterinarian on the construction site?
No one knew how to operate a crane.
6. A park ranger finds a man in the wilderness eating a bald eagle.
The man is arrested and brought to trial for killing a protected bird.
He pleads with the judge, “Your honor, I was lost in the wilderness for three days without food, and the eagle attacked me. I fought back in self-defense, and I ate it because I was starving.”
The judge listens to the tale and rules that the man is not guilty.
But then he turns to the man and asks, “Well, now that we’re done with all that, I admit that I am curious to know, what does bald eagle taste like?”
“Well, your honor, it’s like a cross between a snowy owl and a whooping crane.”
7. What kind of bird builds skyscrapers?
Cranes.
8. What bird can lift the most?
A crane.
9. I once skydived off a crane.
Poor little fellow, I must have damaged his wings.
10. I was walking by a pond and saw a blue heron.
I asked, “You crane?”
He answered, “I think I’m Russian now.”
11. The size of the wildlife at construction sites is huge.
I mean, just look at the size of those cranes.
12. If you’ve been a bad person in England, they will call you a pig.
In America, they’ll call you a sheep.
In the Soviet Union…
You crane!
13. Why did Russia assemble an army of female sheep and wading birds at the border?
They were preparing for a ewe-crane invasion.
Jokes About Cranes
If you enjoyed these hilarious puns and jokes about cranes, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:
