We couldn’t keep these funny zoo jokes and puns captive any longer! They’re too good not to release into the wild!
Funny Zoo Jokes
I met my boyfriend while visiting the zoo.
There he was, in his uniform…
Straightaway I knew he was a keeper.
We visited a zoo last week where the only animal was just a dog.
It was a Shih Tzu.
My friend works at the zoo circumcising elephants.
The pay is bad but the tips are huge.
I went to the zoo yesterday and I saw a piece of toast in a cage.
When I asked the keeper why, he said, “It was bread in captivity.”
My Grandfather has the heart of a lion…
And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo.
It was great.
She’s a keeper.
I have the memory of an elephant.
One time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
It must be tough working in the shipping and receiving department of a zoo.
No one ever addresses the elephant in the room.
I called the zoo…
But the lion was busy.
An orangutan at the zoo was reading two books: The Bible and Darwin’s The Origin of Species.
He was trying to figure out whether he is his brother’s keeper or his keeper’s brother.
I just catapulted a lion at the zoo
You would not believe the uproar.
A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable.
However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they can’t afford to go a day without it.
So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have in storage for an extra $100 a day if he will go in the gorilla cage and pretend to be the gorilla until the zoo can afford a new one.
Quickly, the new “gorilla” becomes the most popular craze at the zoo. People from all over are coming to see the “Human-like” gorilla.
About a month in though, the craze has started to wear off.
So, to get peoples’ attention back, the guy decides to climb over his enclosure and hang from the net ceiling above the lions’ den next to him.
A large crowd of people gather watching the spectacle in awe and terror.
Suddenly the man loses his grip and falls to the floor of the lion’s den. The man starts screaming “HELP!! HELP!!!”
Suddenly a lion pounces him from behind and whispers in his ear, “Shut up right now or you’re going to get us both fired.”
If I ever saw a big cat escape from the zoo…
I’d puma pants.
They have a toothless grizzly at my local zoo.
Biggest gummy bear you’ll ever see.
The leopard tried to escape from the zoo…
But it was spotted.
I went to the zoo with my dad and he kept making fun of the hippo exhibit.
I wish he wouldn’t be so hippo-critical.
Why do they just call it “The Zoo”?
Maybe it’s because the rest is logical.
An Irishman and his son went to the zoo where they saw a sign saying, “Feed the elephant a bun to get your age.”
The little boy gave the elephant a bun and it stomped its foot 6 times.
“Wow” said the boy, “That’s right I am 6, you have a go dad!”
So the Irish chap gave the elephant a bun.
A moment later the elephant farted and stomped twice.
“Bajaysus, that’s right,” said the father, “I am farty two!”
A woman walking down the city sidewalk with an adult lion is confronted by a police officer
He: “Lady, you must take that animal directly to the zoo!”
She: “I will do that right away, officer.”
The next day, the officer is exasperated to see her and the lion walking down the sidewalk again.
He: “I told you to get that animal to the zoo!”
She: “That was yesterday. Today we are going to the beach.”
A camel decided to educate his son who he suspected was getting a little inquisitive.
“Why do we have two humps,” asked the son.
“That’s so we can go for days without water. We can store it in the humps.”
“Why do we have very long eyelashes?
“That,” he was told, “is to protect the eyes from sand in a sand storm.”
“And why do we have bulbous looking feet?”
“That’s so we’re can travel twice as fast through the desert.”
“Dad,” asked the young camel, “What the heck are we doing in this zoo?”
I tried to open up a flightless bird zoo business.
But it never took off.
More Animal Jokes
If you liked our hilarious zoo jokes, be sure to have a look around the LaffGaff site for lots more funny animal jokes, such as these: