Funny Halloween Puns

These wicked awesome Halloween puns really are fang tastic! You definitely won’t get any boos from your audience if you tell these to them, no matter how groan inducing they are. No, they’re definitely not a pain in the neck!

So pun lovers, without further ado, creep it real and enjoy these hilarious Halloween puns.

A collection of hilarious Halloween puns

Hilarious Halloween Puns

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Because he’s a pain in the neck.

What’s the best way to get rid of a demon?

Exorcise a lot.

What’s a vampire‘s favorite flavor of ice cream?


What kind of music do mummies listen to?


What kind of monster can you put in your washing machine?

A wash and wear-wolf.

Where does Dracula keep his savings?

At the blood bank.

What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?

He got ticks.

What do you give to a pumpkin that’s trying to stop smoking?

A pumpkin patch.

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?

A neck-tarine.

What happened to the guy who didn’t pay his exorcist?

He got repossessed.

What’s a monster’s favorite play?

Romeo and Ghoul-iet.

What do you get if you divide a pumpkin’s circumference by it’s diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

Where does Dracula eat his lunch?

At the casket-eria.

What do demons have for breakfast?

Devilled eggs.

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?

A sour puss.

How do monsters know what the future holds for them?

They read their horror-scopes.

What do you call a haunted chicken?

A poultry-geist.

What do you call a fat Jack-o-lantern?

A plumpkin.

Where do mummies go for a swim?

In the Dead Sea.

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?

A fur coat that fangs around your neck.

Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party?

Because everyone was a goblin.

What do you call two spiders who just got married?

Newly webbed.

What do you call a preteen jack o’ lantern who just got invited to the big party?

A happy hollow tween.

Why did the skeleton not eat the Halloween candy?

Because he didn’t have the stomach for it.

Who did the ghost take to the Halloween party?

His ghoul friend.

How did the ghost greet his girlfriend?

Hey boo-tiful!

What Halloween candy tells bad jokes?

Candy corny.

Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.

What did the ghost say to his wife on their wedding day?

You look fab-boo-lous!

What do you call it when a ghost fails to frighten anyone?

A bad scare day.

Why don’t zombies like lentils?

They prefer human beans.

No matter how much Halloween candy you eat, it always seems to go to waist!

Why shouldn’t you eat too much Halloween candy when you trick or treat?

You need to leave room for “I scream”!

Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they’re angry?

They don’t want to fly off the handle.

Where’s the best place to get your Halloween costume?

At the boo-tique.

Why did the witch look so angry?

She had resting witch face.

More Halloween Humor

If you enjoyed this list of scary good Halloween puns and they didn’t drive you batty, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for more fang tastic Halloween jokes and other spook tacular Halloween fun. For example, to make sure you have a gourd time on Halloween, check out these pages:

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