Jack-O-Lantern Jokes

We’ve carved out this fantastic collection of hilarious jack-o-lantern jokes and puns for you. They’re sure to light up your face this Halloween. No other jokes could hold a candle to them!

Header image for a page of funny jack-o-lantern jokes and puns.

Funny Jack-O-Lantern Jokes And Puns

How do you mend a broken jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

What do you call a fat jack-o-Lantern?

A plumpkin.

Why was the jack-o-lantern sad on Halloween?

Because he felt empty inside.

Did you know that the soldiers at Arlington salute their new jack-o-lanterns every Halloween?

They always honor the changing of the gourd.

Why do jack-o-lanterns have stupid smiles on their faces?

You’d have a stupid smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out.

Where do jack-o-lanterns live?

In the seedy part of town.

Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?

It had no guts.

Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart?

The candle makes them bright.

A pumpkin says to a jack-o-lantern, “All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don’t you want to mix it up, try something different?”

The jack-o-lantern says, “I don’t have the guts.”

What did the jack-o-lantern say to his family of bodybuilders?

Pump kin.

Where does the twinkle in a jack-o-lantern’s eye come from?

The candle.

What do you call a pumpkin carved to look like cow?


What did the jack-o-lantern say to the other jack-o-lantern when they were on their way to the Halloween party?

Let’s get glowing.

I divided the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter today.

I ended up with pumpkin pi.

What did the jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin carver?

Cut it out!

Why is a jack-o-lantern just like Buddha?

They both have an inner light.

Why did the programmer buy a jack-o-lantern on Christmas Day?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.

What did one jack-o-lantern say to the other?

Got a light?

What time does a jack-o-lantern eat?

Once you carve out its mouth.

I drove by a house with a lot of jack-o-lanterns.

It was a real gourdy scene.

Which artist carves the best jack-o-lanterns?

Vincent van Gourd.

What do you call jack-o-lantern cousins who lift weights together?

Pump kin.

Why do jack-o-lanterns sit outside a house?

They have no hands to knock on the front door.

More Halloween Jokes & Fun

If you enjoyed these funny jack-o-lantern jokes and puns, check out the rest of our Halloween jokes and other Halloween fun, such as these pages: