Dracula Jokes

We’ve published our favorite vampire puns before and these funny Dracula jokes are in the same vein! Fangfully, none of them suck so we’re sure you’ll enjoy them!

Dracula was created by Bram Stoker in his 1897 novel of the same name but did you know Dracula was named after a real person? He may be a character from a horror novel but there’s nothing horrific about these funny Dracula jokes and puns! Stick your neck out and have a read of them!

A selection of funny Dracula jokes and puns

Funny Dracula Jokes

What song does Dracula hate most?

You Are My Sunshine.


Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Because he’s a pain in the neck.


Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula?

He has a bat temper.


What’s Dracula’s family car called?

A mobile blood unit.


Why did Dracula go to the dentist?

He had a fang-ache.


Why did Dracula split up with his girlfriend after she had a blood test?

Because she wasn’t his type.


What is Dracula’s favorite restaraunt?

Murder King.


How does Dracula like to have his food served?

In bite-sized pieces.


Why did Dracula turn vegetarian?

Because he heard that steak was bad for his heart.


Why did Dracula flunk art class?

Because he could only draw blood.


What did Dracula say when he was given a present?

Fangs a lot.


How does Count Dracula feel after a long night?

Dead on his feet.


Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires?

Because he liked to see new blood in the business.


Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

Because his life is at stake.


Where does Dracula keep his savings?

At the blood bank.


Where does Dracula water ski?

On Lake Erie.


What do you call Count Dracula’s cookout?

Vampire campfire.


Where does Dracula go on vacation?

The Isle of Fright.


Funny Dracula Puns

How does Dracula keep fit?

Batminton.


Why did Dracula fail his exams?

He was too ghoul for school.


What kind of coffee does Dracula drink?

De-coffin-ated.


Why did Dracula never marry?

He wanted to stay a bat-chelor.


What do you call a vampire in a raincoat?

Mack-ula.


Who does Dracula get letters from?

His fang club.


What’s Dracula’s favorite flavor of ice cream?

Vein-illa.


Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

To stop his coffin.


Why doesn’t Dracula spend much money at restaurants?

Because he eats necks to nothing.


Why doesn’t Dracula attack chickens?

Their blood is fowl.


What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars?

Jack-ula.


What did the teacher say to Dracula after he failed his math test?

Can’t you count Dracula?


What city does Dracula Chinese family live in?

Fanghai.


Where does Dracula eat his lunch?

At the casketeria.


What do you call a duck with fangs?

Quackula.


Where does Dracula get clean?

In the bat tub.


What do you get if you cross a vampire with a sheep?

Drac-ewe-la.


Where does Dracula get all his jokes?

From a crypt writer.


What is Dracula’s favorite breakfast cereal?

Ready Neck.


Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?

Because he kept coffin.


What does Dracula drink when he’s on a diet?

Blood light.


What is Transylvania?

Dracula’s terror-tory.


What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI Capone?

A fangster.


What does Dracula say to his victims?

It’s been nice gnawing you.


What does Dracula say when introduced to someone?

Hello, pleased to eat you.


Why did the teacher send Dracula jr. home?

Because he was coffin too much.


What is Dracula’s favorite dance?

The fang-dango.


What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?

A bite in shining armour.


More Funny Jokes & Puns

If you enjoyed this collection of funny Dracula jokes and puns, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff and our other Halloween jokes and fun, including these: