Dracula Jokes

We’ve published our favorite vampire puns before and these funny Dracula jokes are in the same vein!

Fangfully, none of them suck so we’re sure you’ll enjoy them!

A selection of funny Dracula jokes and puns

How does Dracula keep fit?


Why did Dracula fail his exams?

He was too ghoul for school.

What song does Dracula hate most?

You Are My Sunshine.

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Because he’s a pain in the neck.

What kind of coffee does Dracula drink?


Why did Dracula never marry?

He wanted to stay a bat-chelor.

Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula?

He has a bat temper.

What do you call a vampire in a raincoat?


What’s Dracula’s family car called?

A mobile blood unit.

Why did Dracula go to the dentist?

He had a fang-ache.

Who does Dracula get letters from?

His fang club.

What’s Dracula’s favorite flavor of ice cream?


Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

To stop his coffin.

Where does Dracula keep his savings?

At the blood bank.

Why doesn’t Dracula spend much money at restaurants?

Because he eats necks to nothing.

Why doesn’t Dracula attack chickens?

Their blood is fowl.

What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars?


Why did Dracula split up with his girlfriend after she had a blood test?

Because she wasn’t his type.

What is Dracula’s favorite restaraunt?

Murder King.

How does Dracula like to have his food served?

In bite-sized pieces.

What did the teacher say to Dracula after he failed his math test?

Can’t you count Dracula?

What city does Dracula Chinese family live in?


Where does Dracula eat his lunch?

At the casketeria.

What do you call a duck with fangs?


Why did Dracula turn vegetarian?

Because he heard that steak was bad for his heart.

Where does Dracula get clean?

In the bat tub.

Why did Dracula flunk art class?

Because he could only draw blood.

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a sheep?


What did Dracula say when he was given a present?

Fangs a lot.

How does Count Dracula feel after a long night?

Dead on his feet.

Where does Dracula get all his jokes?

From a crypt writer.

What is Dracula’s favorite breakfast cereal?

Ready Neck.

Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?

Because he kept coffin.

Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires?

Because he liked to see new blood in the business.

What does Dracula drink when he’s on a diet?

Blood light.

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

Because his life is at stake.

What is Transylvania?

Dracula’s terror-tory.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI Capone?

A fangster.

What does Dracula say to his victims?

It’s been nice gnawing you.

Where does Dracula water ski?

On Lake Erie.

What do you call Count Dracula’s cookout?

Vampire campfire.

What does Dracula say when introduced to someone?

Hello, pleased to eat you.

Why did the teacher send Dracula jr. home?

Because he was coffin too much.

Where does Dracula go on vacation?

The Isle of Fright.

What is Dracula’s favorite dance?

The fang-dango.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?

A bite in shining armour.

Dracula Jokes & Puns

If you enjoyed this collection of funny Dracula jokes and puns, be sure to check out the rest of our Halloween jokes too, including these:

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