We take great pride in bringing you our favorite funny lion jokes and puns that are sure to have you roaring with laughter! After all, we couldn’t just leave them lion around, could we? In the mane, these lion jokes are great, so enjoy them!
Funny Lion Jokes
I have the eye of a tiger, the heart of a lion…
And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What do a lion, a witch, and a wardrobe have in common?
You’re riding a horse full speed. There’s a giraffe next to you and a lion chasing you, what do you do?
Get off the carousel, you’re drunk.
I capture lions for a living.
I guess you could say I take pride in my work.
What do you call a lion with a fancy hat?
A dandy lion.
My urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is just a whim away.
A whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What did the cannibalistic lion do?
He swallowed his pride.
What does a lion call his barber?
His mane man.
Why did the circus lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal.
Why don’t circus lions eat the clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Do lions take pride in their families?
Why do lions eat more than other animals?
Because they always get the lion’s share.
A lion goes into a restaurant
He sits down, and starts looking through the menu.
After a while, the waiter comes over. “What would you like to drink, sir?” asks the waiter.
“A glass of the house wine please,” the lion responds.
“Excellent choice sir! Might I recommend the Salmon for the starter?”
“And what can I get you for your main?” asks the waiter.
“Oh, just a comb.”
A priest is walking through the jungle when he comes upon a hungry lion.
Just as the lion goes to attack, the priest crosses himself and says, “Lord, if you can hear me, please instill the Holy Spirit in this beast’s heart.”
The lion stops in his tracks as a bright light begins to glow around him.
He looks to the sky, folds his paws in prayer, and says, “Thank you, Lord, for this meal.”
A woman walking down the city sidewalk with an adult lion is confronted by a police officer.
He says to her, “Lady, you must take that animal directly to the zoo!”
She replies, “Sure, I’ll do that right away, officer.”
The next day, the officer is exasperated to see her and the lion walking down the sidewalk again.
He says to her, “I told you to get that animal to the zoo!”
She answers, “That was yesterday. Today we’re going to the beach.”
What happened to the overconfident lion-tamer?
He was consumed by his own pride.
What does a Japanese guy name his pet lion?
What do a lion and a computer have in common?
They both have mega bites.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
They proceed to get very drunk.
Eventually the giraffe passes out and the man turns to leave.
The bartender shouts at him, “Oy, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!”
The man turns and says, “It’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe!”
What would’ve been a better name for the lion instead of King of the Jungle?
Mommy, daddy and little lion are having a picnic.
As soon as they’ve taken seat on their blanket, little lion wants to start eating.
“Hold on,” says daddy lion. “We first need to prey.”
How can you trust a tiger?
Because you know he’s not lion.
What’s the best side of a lion to be on?