There’d be pandamonium if we didn’t bring your our best panda puns and jokes!
And we couldn’t bear that, so here they are!
Let’s hope they don’t bamboozle you!
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A panda walks into a bar one day. He casually walks to the bar and sits on a bar stool.
The bartender thinks this is a bit odd, a panda walking into a bar isn’t something that normally happens to him.
He approaches the panda regardless and asks, “What can I get you?”
The panda grabs a menu off the bar, opens it and points to a cheeseburger.
The bartender is very impressed by this and so he decides to go ahead and make the cheeseburger for the panda.
The panda gets his cheeseburger, devours it, savoring every last bit. He then wipes its mouth with a napkin, impressing the bartender even more.
But then suddenly the panda pulls out a gun and shoots everyone in the bar, except for the bartender.
The bartender stands there in total shock, soaked in blood, and can only ask the panda, “Why?”
The panda pulls a dictionary from his fur coat and turns to the bartender. He flips the book to the P section, places it on the bar, and points to his picture. Then he turns and walks out the door without looking back.
The bartender leans down and reads the entry next to Panda. It says…
“Panda: A wild animal that eats, shoots and leaves.”
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
What does a ghost panda eat?
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story, that bear’s repeating.
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
This is un-bear-able.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
A panda walks into a bar one day, much to the surprise of the bartender.
He sits at the bar and says, “I’d like a whiskey…………….. and a coke please.”
The bartender makes his drink, hands it to him and says, “Here you go, but I have to ask. Why the big pause?”
The panda looks down at his hands and says, “I was born with them”.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What’s black and white, and has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
How do pandas get to hospital?
In the bamboolance.
Did you know that China has a policy where a certain amount of pandas must live in the country.
To be fair, it’s the bear minimum.
What do you call a male panda?
Today, I saw twin pandas.
That bears repeating.
Why are pandas endangered?
Because bamboo shoots.
Why was the panda drunk?
He’d been on the bambooze again.