20+ Funny Squid Jokes We Have An Inkling You’ll Enjoy!

Who lived in the Wild West and squirted ink?

Billy the Squid.

What happens when two squid love each other?

They get calamarried.

Did you hear about the seafood restaurant that will give you calamari in exchange for money?

They practice squid pro quo.

What do you call two squids that look exactly the same?


How does a squid go into battle?


Where are new-born baby squid put?

In the ink-ubator.

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?

On squid row.

Finally found out how you make a giant squid laugh.

Ten tickles.

What do octopuses play at Hogwarts?


What did the sailor say when the squid was choking him?

“You’re Kraken my neck!”

I asked how much the creature that looked like an ill octopus cost and what it was.

The British chap said “Sick squid”.

I went to the doctor and they told me I have a SpongeBob addiction.

They put me in the squid ward.

What did the squid say when it was asked out on a date?

“I’ll ink about it.”

I love squid jokes so much.

They’re always Kraken me up!

What do you call an affectionate squid?

A cuttlefish.

Why did the octopus have to pay a ransom?

His wife was squidnapped.

What do you call a group of squid?

A squad.

What do you call a squid who robs banks?

A safe Kraken.

Why are squid such good fun?

Because they always have a Kraken good time!

Someone just threw a squid at my car.

Now my windshield is Kraken.

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