Octopus Jokes And Puns

We’ve come well armed with this collection of funny octopus jokes and puns to keep you octopi’d! We’re sure they’ll ten-tickle your fancy!

Header image for a page of funny octopus jokes and puns.

Funny Octopus Jokes

What do you call two octopuses that look the same?


How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh?

Ten tickles!

Of course it only has eight of those.

So the first two were test tickles!

Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will “punch” a fish for no reason other than spite.

That’s called Toxic Molluskulinity.

Why didn’t the shark want to fight the octopus?

Because he knew the octopus was well armed.

How do you know when an octopus has diarrhea?

It leaves squid-marks.

What do you call an octopus that’s missing one tentacle?

Octopus Prime.

Interviewer: So what makes you think you’d be a good waiter here?

Octopus: I just really feel like I could bring a lot to the table.

Octopus 1: “What should I do if I can’t swim?”

Octopus 2: “Use ink if you can’t float.”

How does an octopus go into battle?

Well armed.

What do you call someone with eight pimples?

An octopus.

Octopus : [holding a gun in each hand]

Cat : You’re one short buddy.

I tickled my pet octopus nine times but he didn’t laugh.

I guess he needs ten tickles.

What type of keyboard does an octopus use?


Doctor Octopus robbed a bank this morning.

He didn’t have a gun, but he was well armed.

What does a shoe call an octopus?

A socktopus.

How did the octopus pay for his newspaper?

With ten nickels.

A sailor walks into a thrift store after he lost a limb to a giant octopus.

He said, “I heard this is a second-hand shop, where they at?”

Did you hear about the octopus that played football?

He had ten tackles.

Why do people hate camping with octopuses?


What’s an octopus’s favorite toy?

His eight little Legos.

Did you know that the octopus is the only sea creature with tentacles?

Just squidding!

Why’d the giant octopus eat two ships filled with potatoes?

Because you can’t eat just one potato ship.

An octopus was filming a TV show, but they had to temporarily stop filming.

They were experiencing tentacle difficulties.

What do you get when you cross a cat with an octopus?

A visit from the ethics department and immediate withdrawal of your funding.

What was wrong with the busy octopus?

Nothing, he was just octopi’d.

What did the octopus say to the fox?

“What are you doing in the ocean?”

What does the boss octopus say before work?

Let’s get kraken.

A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the army.

The octopus says, “No thanks, I’m army enough as it is.”

Why did the octopus cross the reef?

To get to the other tide.

An octopus was killed in a shootout last week.

Police say he was heavily armed.

Why was the Mexican octopus angry at the shark?

Because he ate his ten tacos.

Jokes About Octopuses

If you enjoyed our puns and jokes about octopuses, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more great jokes, such as these: