Tiger Jokes And Puns

These funny tiger jokes and puns have certainly earned their stripes! So paws for a moment to enjoy them!

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Funny Tiger Jokes

What do you call a three-eyed tiger?

A tiiiger.

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye Of The Tiger”, but how come no one talks about …

The other four letters?

I have the eye of a tiger and the heart of a lion.

And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

How do you know if a tiger is male or female?

Throw a rock at it.

If he runs it’s a male.

If she runs it’s a female.

A lion would never play golf.

But a Tiger Wood.

How do you outrun a horse, tiger, lion, and elephant that are chasing you?

Get your drunk butt off of the merry-go-round.

There are a number of ways to catch a tiger, but following these simple steps will guarantee success:

Dig a huge hole in the middle of the forest.

Fill the hole half way up with ashes.

Take some frozen peas, and put them all around the edge of the hole.

Wait.

When the tiger comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.

What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?

A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.

On which side does a tiger have the most stripes?

The outside.

A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.

But a dino might.

What did the tiger say to his cubs before dinner?

Shall we prey?

Why do tigers have stripes?

So they don’t get spotted.

What did one tiger say to another tiger when his honesty was questioned?

“I’m not lion.”

What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?

A neighbor-toothed tiger.

Where is the most dangerous place to play golf?

In the Tiger Woods.

I just read that a tiger was spotted downtown.

I don’t really believe it though, if it was spotted it’s probably a leopard.

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to put it together or how to get it started.”

Her boyfriend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde said, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle.

She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread out all over the table.

He studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to her and said, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.”

He took her hand and said, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then…” he sighed… “Let’s put all of these Frosted Flakes back into the box.”

What did the Roman say when his wife was eaten by a tiger?

Gladiator.

A dog walks through the jungle forests, when suddenly a tiger threatens to devour him.

The dog, who sees the animal’s bones next to it, turns to them, licks his lips and says, “What a delicious tiger that was!”

The tiger hears the dog, panics, turns and runs away.

All the while there was a monkey sitting on the tree upstairs.

The monkey, who wanted to flatter the tiger, ran to him and told him how the dog had fooled him.

The tiger gets mad and orders the monkey to sit on his back to guide him back to the dog.

The dog, who sees the monkey and the tiger approaching and understands what has happened, hurries back to the bones and says, “Well, where is this monkey I sent to bring me another tiger?”

A young man fell in love with a beautiful princess and wished to be her lover, but being the poor peasant that he was, he didn’t believe he could do so.

One day though, he found a mysterious lamp on the ground.

He had heard a lot about the legends of genies and believed that rubbing it might just be the answer to all his wishes.

He then proceeded to rub the lamp, where he thought a genie would show up from, but instead though…

A genie didn’t show up. What came out was a young looking tiger that flew out of the lamp and told him, “Ask me any question, and I’ll answer truthfully.”

The man, shocked by this event, was a bit shaken, but since he was already determined to do whatever he could to win the princess’s heart, he then proceeded to ask the tiger how he can win the heart of the princess.

The tiger, hearing his question, nodded and answered him with a wise and serious expression:

“Truthfully.”

Why does a tiger make such a good girlfriend?

Because it’s not a cheetah.

I met Mike Tyson and he had his tiger with him.

I said, “Wow! I can’t believe you actually have a tiger! I thought that was a myth.”

He said, “Well you were mythtaken.”

If a tiger was attacking your wife and mother-in-law at the same time and you could save one, who would it be?

The tiger of course. There are only a few left.

Pretend you’re in a jungle: What do you do if a tiger is chasing you and catching up to you?

Stop pretending.

Why do tigers always beat cheetahs at hide-and-seek?

They’ve never been spotted.

How do you catch a unique tiger?

Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame tiger?

Tame way.

Tiger Jokes

If you enjoyed our hilarious puns and jokes about tigers, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny animal jokes, such as these: