Funny Giraffe Jokes & Puns

We’re going to stick our neck out and say these are the funniest giraffe puns and jokes you’ll find!

They’re head and shoulders above the rest! Finding any better would certainly be a tall order!

Finding funnier giraffe puns and jokes than these would be a tall order!

What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?

Necktarines.


Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?

He was a pain in the neck.


Why don’t giraffes make good pets?

They’re too high maintenance.


I was going to tell you a joke about a giraffe’s neck.

But it’s too long.


What happened when the two giraffes had a race?

It was neck and neck.


I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.

It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.


What’s green and hangs from trees?

Giraffe snot.


What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?

A giraffic jam.


Why did the giraffe graduate early?

He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.


A man walks into a bar with his pet giraffe.

He orders himself and his giraffe a drink, but after finishing his drink the giraffe drops dead on the floor.

The man gets up to leave but the bartender says to him, “Hey! You can’t leave that lying there!”

The man turns to him and says, “That’s not a lion, that’s a giraffe!”


What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?

I’d like to get to gnaw you.


What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?

Bacon and legs.


Why do giraffes have long necks?

Because their feet smell.


Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.

Also, I got banned from my local zoo.


What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?

A centipede with athlete’s foot.


What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?

Giraffic Park.


Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.


Why don’t giraffes do drugs?

Because they’re naturally high.


Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?

Because it’s a tall order.


What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?

A turtle-neck jumper.


Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?

It’s a long one.


What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?

A plane in the neck.


What do you call a royal giraffe?

Your highness.


What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?

An extra long toilet brush.


Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?

Because its head is so far from its body.


How was the first giraffe made?

Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.


The worst part about being a giraffe…

Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.


Why don’t giraffes like fast food?

Because they can’t catch it.


Why did the giraffe break up with her boyfriend?

He was a cheetah.


What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?

A long shot.


An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.

They couldn’t fit in.


What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?

Neck-romance-y.


It takes a big man to admit his mistakes.

But it takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut.


A man walks into a bar, goes up to the bartender, and asks her to make him a giraffe.

Taken aback, she replies, “Well, that’s a tall order!”


What do giraffes do if they get involved in a fight?

Nothing. They look down on that kind of thing.


One of the seven dwarfs kissed a giraffe yesterday.

Apparently the other six put him up to it.


What is a giraffe’s favorite beer?

High-neckin’.


Why didn’t people laugh at the giraffe’s joke?

It went over their heads.


Did you hear about the guy who made giraffe and elephant jam?

He called it Wildlife Preserve.


What do two giraffes have in common?

Neither can ride a bike.


Why did the giraffe get promoted in his job?

Because people looked up to him.


Giraffe Puns & Jokes

If you enjoyed this selection of funny giraffe puns and jokes, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more fun and laughter, including our other animal jokes such as these:

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Spread the fun!