We love elephants here at LaffGaff, and so in tribute to these magnificent beasts here’s a selection of our favorite elephant puns and elephant jokes. You’d have to be a real Dumbo to miss out on them – they’re unforgettable. So enjoy!
Funny Elephant Jokes For Kids
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What sport will an elephant always beat you at?
Squash.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they are really good at it.
Why can’t two elephants swim at the same time?
They only have a pair of trunks.
What’s an elephant’s favorite part of a tree?
The trunk.
When can three elephants stand under one umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
How do you kill a blue elephant?
Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a pink elephant?
Hold it’s nose until it turns blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
What did the momma elephant say to her kid when he was misbehaving?
“Tusk, tusk!”
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
To hide in cherry trees, of course!
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? See how well it works!
How do you know if an elephant is under your bed?
Your nose is touching the ceiling.
What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
Time to fix the fence.
What time is it when an elephant sits on an electric fence?
Time to get a new elephant.
How do you stop an elephant from smelling?
Tie a knot in his trunk.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?
Giant holes all over Australia.
Silly Elephant Dad Jokes
What do elephants do at night?
Watch ‘elevision.
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
I bought an elephant for my friend’s room.
They said “Thanks.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
At school I used to get called an elephant.
I’ll never forget that.
The best way to tell the difference between an Indian and an African elephant is…
That one of them is an elephant.
I’ve got the memory of an elephant.
I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
Why did the elephant quit the circus?
He was being paid peanuts.
What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
Plenty of room.
Why do elephants need trunks?
Because they don’t have handbags.
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t, you get down from a goose.
What’s the difference between an elephant and a plum?
Plums are purple.
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants stampeding?
“Here come the elephants.”
What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?
“Look! A herd of plums!”
Jane is colorblind.
What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
He called the tow truck.
Why are elephants wrinkled?
Have you tried ironing one?
What’s the best way to raise a baby elephant?
With a forklift.
Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks!
It must be tough working in the shipping and receiving department of a zoo.
No-one ever addresses the elephant in the room.
How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Why are elephants large, grey, and wrinkly?
Because if they were small, white, and hard they would be an aspirin.
How do you make an elephant fly?
Start with a three foot zip…
Why do elephants wear green shoes?
So they can sneak across pool tables.
Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table?
Works, doesn’t it?
Why was the elephant afraid to go to the computer store?
Because they sold mice.
Why are elephants bad dancers?
They have two left feet.
What’s large and grey and recites gloomy poetry?
T.S. Elephant.
Why can’t an elephant ride a bicycle?
It doesn’t have a thumb to ring the bell with.
How do you know you’ve got an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in the peanut butter.
How do you know you’ve got two elephants in your fridge?
Two sets of footprints in the peanut butter.
How do you know you’ve got three elephants in your fridge?
You’re all out of peanut butter.
How do you know you’ve got four elephants in your fridge?
Don’t be silly. You could never fit four elephants in your fridge.
Elephant Jokes For Adults
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn’t great, but the tips were huge.
To catch an elephant, you first need to go to the jungle where elephants are found.
Then you cut down all the trees in a big circle, and dig a hole.
Put the trees in the hole and burn them down to ashes.
Carefully line the edge of the hole with peas.
And when an elephant comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash-hole!
An Irishman and his son went to the zoo.
A sign says, “Feed the elephant a bun to get your age.”
The little boy gives the elephant a bun and it stomps its foot 6 times.
“Wow,” says the boy, “That’s right I am 6. You have a go Dad!”
So the Irish chap gives the elephant a bun.
A moment later the elephant farts and stomps twice.
“Bajaysus, that’s right!” Said the father. “I am farty two!”
What has two grey legs and two brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that little thing?
Why do elephants drink?
To forget.
A man is enjoying a sauna bath when suddenly an elephant enters the sauna cabin.
It sits down on the bench across from the man, looks at him and starts to giggle, so the man asks, “What’s so funny?”
The elephant says, while clearly suppressing a belly laugh and gesturing toward the man’s crotch, “I’m sorry… it’s just the thought that you have to eat with that!”
Best Elephant Puns
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephant-om of the opera.
What’s grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
What do you call an elephant that laughs a lot?
An elaughant.
An elephant was drinking out of the river one day when he spotted a turtle lying fast asleep on a log.
The elephant walked over and kicked the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.
A passing giraffe who happened to see this happen asked the elephant, “Why did you do that?”
The elephant replied, “Because I recognized it as the same turtle that bit my trunk 38 years ago.”
The giraffe said, “Wow, what a memory you’ve got!”
“Yes,” said the elephant, proudly. “Turtle recall.”
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like “Hell if I know!”)
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
What do you get if you drop an elephant on a baby butterfly?
A splatterpiller.
How do elephants keep cool in the summer?
Ear conditioning
What’s an elephant’s favorite musical?
The Elephant-om of the Opera.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
What’s the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
How heavy is a Chinese elephant?
Wonton.
How do elephants talk to each other?
On the ele-phone.
Elephant One Liners
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
An elephant’s opinion carries a lot of weight.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
It’s OK to watch an elephant bathe as they usually have their trunks on.
Ant And Elephant Jokes
What is the biggest ant in the world is called?
An eleph-ant.
What ant is bigger than an elephant?
A gi-ant.
What game do elephants play with ants?
Squash.
An elephant and an ant are going to watch a movie on a bike, but they have an accident on the way.
The ant died in the accident but the elephant was safe. How?
Because the elephant was wearing a helmet.
One day, an elephant and an ant were playing hide and seek.
The ant was counting and the elephant went to hide.
The elephant was hiding in the Temple and the ant caught it easily. How?
The elephant left his shoes out side the Temple.
An ant went to visit an elephant one day.
After a nice meal, the elephant suggested they watch TV.
Why did the ant decline?
Because he left his glasses at home.
The elephants of the jungle were playing basketball.
There was one ant in the midst of all this. What was he doing?
He was the referee.
An ant was on her way to a restaurant on a scooter.
On the way she meets an elephant who asks her to give him a lift, so she tells him to sit at the back.
While they were travelling, they meet another elephant asking for a lift, but the ant refuses. Why?
Traffic rules say three people are not allowed on 1 scooter.
Once some hunters were after an elephant.
The elephant didn’t know what to do.
He met his friend, an ant on the road and told her his problem.
She said, “Don’t worry. Just hide behind me!”
An elephant and ant were friends.
They decided to go to swimming so they went to a swimming pool but when the ant swims the elephant sits and when elephant swims the ant sits. Why?
Because they have only one swimming costume.
More Funny Puns & Jokes
If you enjoyed our funny puns and jokes about elephants, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more hilarious animal jokes and funny puns too, such as these:
