Here’s a great collection of funny peanut butter jokes and puns that are perfect for National Peanut Butter day, which is on January 24th. Don’t forget to spread them!
Funny Peanut Butter Jokes
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam.
Today is national peanut butter day.
Spread the news.
What do you call a sandwich full of envy?
Peanut butter ‘n’ jealousy.
There’s a rumour going around about peanut butter.
I don’t want to spread it though.
My friends came over for band practice.
My dad came downstairs with a jar of peanut butter and said, “I brought this to go with your jam.”
What happens when you mix crunchy peanut butter and creamy peanut butter?
Crummy peanut butter.
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
I was making my daughter a sandwich and asked her what kind she wanted.
“We can do peanut butter with either peach preserves or honey,” I told her.
“Honey, please!”
“That’s fine,” I thought. “The peach preserves are my jam anyway.”
Peanut butter was driving his toast when suddenly…
There was a jam.
Did you hear about the peanut butter factory that exploded?
The Reese’s was in pieces.
I would like to share you this joke about peanut butter but I won’t.
Because you might spread it.
I bet jellyfish are sad…
That there are no peanut butter fish.
I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes.
I call it my Reece’s Pieces Thesis.
I’m starting a new line of nut-free peanut butter.
It’s called “I can’t believe it’s nut butter”.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who.
Peanut, butter open the door!
What did the grape say to the silly peanut butter?
You’re nuts.
Why couldn’t the peanut butter afford a sandwich?
It needed bread.
As an American, I’m surprised by how unpopular cream cheese and peanut butter are in the rest of the world…
I just thought they would have spread more.
I don’t like peanut butter.
It just isn’t my jam.
What do you get when a dyslexic tries to make a gif?
Peanut butter.
What did the guest say at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
Nice spread.
Why can’t you be friends with a jar of peanut butter?
They make everyone nutty.
Peanut Butter Puns
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and she’s been grouchy all day.
I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.
What fish tastes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish.
What do you get when you leave your lunch in your lunchbox for a few days?
A peanut butter and smelly sandwich.
I got peanut butter on my camera.
Now every picture is a Jif.
How does peanut butter communicate?
Sticky-Notes.
What is the easiest way to fit an entire peanut butter sandwich into your mouth?
You jam it.
I’m gonna go buy a car shaped like a peanut butter jar…
I’ll be back in a Jif.
What do you call a mini-golf club made of wasp testicles that’s covered in Reese’s Pieces?
A peanut butter bee-nut putter.
Why did peanut butter donate to the high school booster club?
It’s pro-teen.
What kind of sandwiches do whales eat?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
What do lawyers put on sandwiches?
Plea-nut butter.
What competition do peanuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Which sandwich spread makes people itch?
Fleanut butter.
What drink goes with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
Nut-tea.
There should be a brand of peanut butter for connoisseurs with discerning tastes.
I’d call it… Peanut Noir.
What would a Kiwi name a peanut butter sandwich?
Jiffrey.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway.
Just in case there’s a traffic jam.
Dirty Peanut Butter Jokes
What’s the difference between girls of our generation and peanut butter?
One spreads easily and the other is peanut butter.
Dad, is that dog over there a wiener dog?
Son, with enough peanut butter every dog is a wiener dog.
My wife’s legs are like the peanut butter I left in the fridge.
Won’t spread.
What do Southerners have in common with peanut butter?
They are both usually in bread.
How are peanut butter and jelly related?
They’re inbred.
Jokes About Peanut Butter
If these puns and jokes about peanut butter were to your taste, be sure to sample the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:
