We were a little nervous about bringing you these funny butterfly jokes and puns. Then we realized they’re so funny there’s nothing to worry about, and the butterflies in our stomach disappeared!
Funny Butterfly Jokes And Puns
1. Butterflies just aren’t what they used to be.
2. I love raising caterpillars as pets.
It always gives me butterflies.
3. What looks like half a butterfly?
The other half.
4. What happens when you throw a piece of butter out of the window?
Butterfly.
5. My friend bet me $100 that I couldn’t do an impression of a butterfly.
I thought. “That’s worth a flutter.”
6. Why didn’t the butterfly go to the dance?
It was a moth ball.
7. I think I’m going to ask out the girl from the pet shop.
She gave me butterflies.
8. What did the butterfly say when it got attacked?
I butterfly away.
9. My son asked, “Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!”
I gently put my arm around him and replied, “That’s easy son.”
“Stop eating caterpillars!”
10. What does a chatty caterpillar become?
A social butterfly.
11. My mom got really upset when I threw our butter out of my window.
I just wanted to see a butterfly.
12. I spent weeks in the jungle with nothing to eat but raw caterpillars.
When I walked back into civilisation, there were certainly a few butterflies in my stomach.
13. I’m really nervous about this bug-eating contest.
I’ve got butterflies in my stomach.
14. How do caterpillars swim?
They do the butterfly.
15. What’s one thing that will always give you butterflies no matter what?
Caterpillars.
16. What do New Guinea butterfly babies call their dads?
Papua pupa papas.
17. What do you call a butterfly that can fly faster than any other butterflies?
A betterfly.
18. What did the nervous spider say to the audience?
“Forgive me guys, but I’ve got butterflies in my stomach.”
19. A butterfly climbs out of its chrysalis.
And says, “Oh my god, I’m turning into my mother!”
20. All his life, Timmy wanted to be a train conductor.
He graduated top of his class in train school, and was hired by the most prestigious train company to conduct their new Super Train. This train could carry 1,000 passengers and was very expensive to manufacture.
Yet little Timmy had one fatal flaw. He had a very short attention span.
It just so happened that one day when Timmy was driving the train near a very sharp turn that required him to decrease the trains speed, a butterfly flew across the window.
Distracted, Timmy forgot to decrease the trains speed and ended up running it off the tracks, killing everybody inside expect for himself.
In the strange country that Timmy lived in, the punishment for killing a lot of people with a train was death by electric chair.
So the day came when the executioner approached Timmy in jail and asks what he wanted for his last meal.
Timmy thought for a minute, and then responded to the executioner by asking for a single banana.
The executioner thought this was a stupid request, but granted Timmy’s wish anyway. He gave him a single banana, which Timmy ate in 3 bites.
The executioner then strapped Timmy into the electric chair and pulled down the lever to start the flow of electricity.
When the smoke cleared, the executioner was shocked to see Timmy still alive, sitting in the electric chair!
Another strange law in the county Timmy lived in was if you survive the execution by electric chair, you got to walk away as a free man.
So Timmy was freed but was distraught about losing his job as a train conductor. It just so happened that the same prestigious train company was desperate for a qualified conductor to operate their new Mega Train.
They hired Timmy back to his old job.
Timmy was driving the train in the exact spot where his previous accident occurred, when another butterfly flew across his window and, well you can guess the rest…
So Timmy was back in the jail cell when the executioner asked for his last meal (again).
Timmy thought for a minute, and asked for two bananas.
A bit suspicious, the executioner brought him his bananas which Timmy ate in 3 bites each.
Timmy was strapped into the chair, and the lever was pulled, but when the smoke settled, he still wasn’t dead!
Again, Timmy walked free.
Again, the train company hired him back to drive their new Ultra Train.
Again, Timmy was conducting the train in the spot where the previous accidents had occurred.
Again, a butterfly flew across the window.
So Timmy was about to be executed for the third time when the executioner approached him. He stated that Timmy wouldn’t be given a last meal this time, so there would be no way he could eat his bananas.
Timmy was strapped into the electric chair and the executioner pulled the lever.
The look on the executioner’s face after he realized Timmy still hadn’t died was priceless.
“How are you still alive?” Demanded the executioner, “I didn’t give you any bananas this time!”
Timmy replied, “It’s not the bananas. I’m just a bad conductor.”
21. The man saw a woman standing sheepishly in the corner, avoiding his gaze.
He could tell she had butterflies in her stomach as he walked over to her.
He took her by the hand, and led her to the door, saying…
“YOU ARE HEREBY BANNED FROM THE BUTTERFLY EXHIBIT!”
22. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana…
And butterflies like margarine.
23. A father has three daughters. The first daughter goes to her dad and asks, “Daddy, why am I named Petal?”
The dad says, “When you were born, a petal landed on your forehead, so we decided to name you Petal.”
Afterwards, the second daughter asks, “Why am I called Butterfly?”
The father tells her, “When you were born, a butterfly flew down and landed on your forehead, so we named you Butterfly.”
The third daughter walks up to her father and says, “ERRRGGGHJAAARRGGVYYYBBLLUURRRRRRRR!”
The father yells, “Shut up, Cinderblock!”
24. God was having a conversation with a caterpillar:
God: Then you become a butterfly!
Caterpillar: Wow. the rest of my life as a butterfly!
God: Yeah, lol the “rest”.
Caterpillar: How long?
God: …
Caterpillar: How long God?
25. What do you call it when a butterfly rules over a kingdom?
A monarchy.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed our funny butterfly jokes and puns, check out the rest of our animal jokes such as these:
