Rabbit Jokes And Puns

You’d better hop to it and check out these hilarious rabbit jokes and puns because they’ve very bunny indeed!

Header image for a page of funny rabbit jokes and puns.

Funny Rabbit Jokes And Puns

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny.

How do you catch a rabbit?

Hide in the bushes and try to sound like a lettuce.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says, “I think I might be a type O.”

I said to the doctor, “Every day I feel more and more like a cartoon rabbit.”

She said, “You have a bad case of updoc.”

I asked, “What’s updoc?”

She said, “This is more serious than I thought!”

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.

So I was driving when I see a woman run over a poor rabbit.

I stopped immediately to render assistance.

The woman is hysterical and the rabbit, well let’s just say he’d had better days.

I though to myself, “Can I render first aid?”

Then it hit me, I could fix this.

I went to the trunk of my car and grabbed a can of spray.

I sprayed this onto the rabbit and sure enough he jumped up and hopped away.

As he hopped away every few steps he stopped, looked right back at us and waved.

He repeated this until he eventually was out of sight.

The women then asked me, “What was that can of spray you used?”

I said, “Hair restorer with a permanent wave.”

What do an elephant and a rabbit have in common?

They both start with the letter R if the elephant’s name is Roger.

Did you hear about the beer made entirely out of rabbits, frogs and kangaroos?

It’s mostly hops.

Where do rabbits go after they get married?

On a bunny-moon.

How do you say, “Richard and Robert retrieved a rabbit” without pronouncing the “r’s?”

Dick and Bob caught a bunny.

Where does a rabbit go for a trim?

To the hare dresser.

A man was going bald, so he got rabbits tattooed on to his head.

From a distance they looked like hares.

Did you hear the story about the rabbit’s childhood?

It’s a hare-raising tale!

What did Reverend Rabbit say before blessing his meal?

Lettuce pray.

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves.

The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket.

After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, “Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?”

A rabbit and a beaver are looking up at the majesty of the Hoover Dam one day.

The beaver says to the rabbit, “I didn’t build it but it’s based on my design.”

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way.

What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a snake?

A jump rope.

Where does a rabbit live?

In a rabbitat.

What do you call an all-you-can-eat meal in a rabbit hole?

A Warren Buffet.

I ordered rabbit stew at a restaurant the other day.

The waiter dropped the rabbit stew off at my table and started walking away.

I called him back and said, “There’s a hare in my stew.”

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common?

They’re both purple except for the rabbit.

How do you know when you’re eating rabbit stew?

When you find a hare in it.

What do you get when you pour boiling water into a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies!

I got in trouble for trying to bring a dead rabbit on a plane.

I thought I was allowed one carrion.

Some rabbits may be dumb, but they have math skills.

They’re really good at multiplying.

On the drive home from work today I hit a rabbit.

I keep one in the car for when I’m stressed.

A rabbit used to come up to my front yard every day for food, but hasn’t shown up in a week.

Now it’s just some bunny I used to know.

For dinner we’re having Himalayan rabbit stew.

That rabbit, found Himalayan on the road.

Why are angry rabbits such effective marksman?

Because they are cross hares.

What’s a rabbit’s favorite alcoholic drink?

Hopscotch.

Be careful if you decide to breed rabbits.

I’ve heard that it’s a real hare raising experience.

Elton John has bought his pet rabbit a treadmill.

It’s a little fit bunny.

Did you hear about the frog that was raised by bunnies?

All it could say was “Rabbit”.

We were going to have chicken for supper, but ended up having rabbit.

It was a game changer.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?

Hare spray.

What do you call the rabbit next in line to the throne?

The hare-apparent.

More Animal Jokes

If these jokes about rabbits didn’t get you in a stew, why not hop around the rest of LaffGaff where we have lots more great animal jokes, such as these: