Whale, whale, whale, what have we here? Only a collection of the funniest whale puns and jokes you’ll find, that’s all!
You’re sure to have a whale of a time reading them! Enjoy!
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
What do whales like to chew?
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
How do killer whales hunt?
With a well orcastrated attack.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
Which type of whale can fly?
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Two whales walk into a bar.
The first whale goes up to the barman and says, “OOOOoooOOOOOOOooooooOoOooOoOooOOOOoOOooOoOoOOOooOOOoOOooooooOOOoOOoOOo.”
The second whale turns to the first one and says, “Shut up Frank, you’re drunk.”
I used to have some killer whale jokes …
But I forgot them all.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
What do polite whales always say?
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
An American walks into a bar in Britain.
He sits down next to two rather large ladies and strikes up a conversation with them.
After a few moments he says, “I can’t place your accents. Are you ladies from Scotland?”
The first lady says, “Wales”.
The American says, “Sorry, are you whales from Scotland?”
One day in school, a teacher is having a discussion with a young girl student whether or not humans can be swallowed by whales.
The teacher tells the girl that it’s impossible for whales to swallow humans because whales only have small throats.
The little girl says, “You’re wrong. Jonah got swallowed by a whale.”
The teacher says, “That’s just a story from the Bible. It’s not true.”
The girl says,”Oh yeah? Well, when I go to heaven, I’ll ask Jonah.”
The teacher replies, “What if Jonah didn’t go to heaven?”
The girl says, “Then you can ask him.”
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why do killer whales never make friends with other species?
They’re too orc’ward.
My wife has a whale tattooed on her butt.
It used to be a dolphin.
What do you call a group of whales on a TV show?
Whale Jokes & Puns
If you liked this collection of funny whale puns and jokes be sure to check out the rest of our funny animal jokes, including these: