We bet ewe haven’t herd these hilarious sheep jokes and puns before! Check them out – none of them are really baa-d! Honestly, we wouldn’t pull the wool over your eyes!
Funny Sheep Jokes And Puns
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer.
“All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep.
“What did you say?” challenged the farmer.
The sheep glared back and growled…
“You herd me.”
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa-dum-ssss.
I read an article earlier that said it actually takes three sheep to make one sweater.
I didn’t even know they could knit!
What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a angry cow?
You get two animals in a baaaaaaaad moooooooood.
If I have 26 sheep and one dies, how many are left?
- Get it? 20 sick sheep.
What do you call a herd of sheep falling down a hill?
A lambslide.
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
How do you get a sheep’s attention?
Shout, “Hey ewe!”
Why won’t the dog listen to the farmer’s sheep jokes?
Because he has herd them all.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
A woolly jumper.
Where do sheep get their haircut?
At the baa baa shop.
What do you call a wolf in sheep’s clothing?
A woolf.
I’m unhappy because my neighbor’s sheep aren’t clipped properly.
I can’t stand that kind of shear incompetence.
What do you call a sheep on wheels?
A Lamborghini.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana.
On which side do sheep have the most wool?
The outside.
If I told you I knew a convoluted joke about a golf club, a sheep, a stinging insect, a tree, and that scary clown movie…
Wood ewe bee leaf It?
What do you call the horse and sheep who live next door?
Your neigh-baas.
What do you get if you cross a sheep dog with a daisy?
A collie-flower.
I have this weird talent where I can control a sheep just by listening to it.
I herd it with my own ears.
I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit!
It was a lambikini.
Did you hear about the sheep on Yoda’s planet?
Dey go baaaaa!
Where does a female sheep with severe hypothermia go?
The icy ewe.
A farmer has 895 sheep.
Realising that this is quite a lot of sheep for one farm, and Jess the sheepdog is getting a bit old, he decides he’ll probably need a new dog – no, a whole team of dogs – to round so many sheep up.
So the next day, the farmer goes to the pet store. He looks around at the various herding dogs. They seem very fit, but young and untrained. The shopkeeper asks the farmer if he wants any help.
“Why yes,” says the farmer. “I need a team of sheepdogs to help round up my flock. I have a rather large number of sheep, you see, and I don’t think any of these young pups would be up to the task of rounding up so many.”
The shopkeeper says, “I’ve got just the thing for you.” and leads the farmer into a small back room, where a single sheepdog sits waiting.
“Are you sure?” asks the farmer, “I have very many sheep and I don’t think one dog will be able to round all of them up.”.
“I’m sure,” says the shopkeeper, “This is a very intelligent dog. He’s been well-trained for many jobs and has skills beyond any other dog I’ve ever seen.”
“Yes,” says the dog, “I know six languages, eight martial arts and I have a degree in engineering.”
The farmer, clearly very impressed by this dog decides to take him home.
That afternoon, the farmer and the dog walk together up hill, and from the top they can see the entire flock covering the fields.
“Well,” says the farmer, “I’d like you to round up all of these sheep.”.
“Okay.” replies the dog, “You have nine hundred sheep.”
How do you milk sheep?
Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1,000 for it.
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible.
The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it.
The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock.
The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.
A blonde woman wants to prove she is smart so she dyes her hair brunette and goes out to find a challenge.
She finds a shepherd with a big herd, and asks him if she can guess the number of sheep in the first try and if she guesses right can she keep one of the sheep. The shepherd agrees.
After a good look at the herd she thinks and tells him: 258. The shepherd in amusement that she guessed the right number, agrees to give her a sheep of her choosing.
She takes another look, grabs one she liked and starts to proudly walk away.
Then she hears the shepherd calling her, she turns around and he asks her, “If I guess the natural color of your hair, would you give me my dog back?”
Jokes About Sheep
If you enjoyed these funny jokes about sheep, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these:
