Dog Food Jokes & Puns

We’re sure these hilarious dog food jokes and puns will be to your taste! So there’s no need for any canned laughter!

Funny Dog Food Jokes

What happens when you eat dog food? You’ll have a ruff day.

I’m gonna open a dog food rating site. Think I’ll call it Bone Appetit.

What kind of man eats dog food? A Doberman.

A man in a supermarket goes up to a cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter. The cashier asks, “Do you have a dog sir?” “Yes, it’s at home,” replies the man. “To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy,” says the cashier. The next day, the man goes and places two cans of cat food on the counter. Again the cashier asks, “Do you have a cat sir?” “Yes I do, it’s at home,” replies the man. “Well I’m sorry sir. Store policy. I must see the cat before I can sell you cat food,” replies the cashier. The next day, the man returns to the store and walks directly to the same cashier. He has a brown paper bag in his hand. “Here,” he says to the cashier, “put your hand in here.” The cashier puts her hand in the brown paper bag. “It is all soft and warm,” she says. “Yes that’s right,” replies the man, “I need to buy two rolls of toilet paper.”

I was just driving past a dog food factory and it smelled really good. Now I want Arby’s.

How much canned dog food should you feed to your dog? About a canidae.

What do you get if you buy your dog a higher quality dog food? A pawsitive feedbark.

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Kirkland Nutra Nuggets dog chow for my loyal pet, Brista, and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s butt and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won’t let me shop there anymore.

I needed to buy some dog food the other day. I couldn’t find any that didn’t use animal testing though so I left it.

A woman drags her husband to the doctor because he’s been complaining for weeks about a sore stomach. The doc gives the man a full workover and deduces he is missing a vital enzyme mainly found in dog food. Reluctantly they agree to put him on the pet food diet to save his life. A week later the doc sees her walking the street and asks how he’s doing. “He’s dead,” She replies. The doc is understandably upset, “How, dog food is not toxic?” She wipes a tear and says, “He was hit by a car in the middle of the road licking his privates.”

If Italian food is made by Italians and Indian food by Indians … Who is making dog food?

My mother bought a new kind of dog food for our pet. Mom: Did Fido enjoyed his food? Me: I don’t know. Mom: I thought you fed him and he finished his food? Me: He did. But he never said he enjoyed it.

My father buying dog food at the grocery store. Cashier (teenage boy): Would you like a bag for that? My dad: No thanks! I’m going to eat it in the car. cheesy dad smile Cashier: blank stare.

Why couldn’t the amputee dog buy dog food? He was two paw.

I was buying a big bag of dog food and the cashier asked, “Is this all for you sir?” I replied, “No it’s for my dogs.”

Can dogs stand spicy foods? Or will they sit down?

What’s a dog’s favorite food? Pawsta.

Mom: I gave the dog some leftovers from last night. Did he eat that plate? Dad: No. He ate all of the food but left the plate.

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Jokes About Dog Food

If you enjoyed these funny puns and jokes about dog food, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more hilarious jokes, such as these: