These hilarious dog biscuit jokes and puns are a real treat and are sure to go down well!
Funny Dog Biscuit Jokes
For cookery class, our homework was to bake something so I said I’d bake dog biscuits. No idea how to, but I have a great excuse when I don’t hand in my homework.
A blind man is waiting to cross a busy street when suddenly his guide dog dashes into traffic, dragging the blind man with him. Brakes squeal, horns honk, drivers yell and cars get rear-ended, but man and dog make it to the other side without a scratch. A crowd starts to gather around the man and dog, curious to see how the man will discipline his dog. Taking a deep, shaky breath, the man reaches into his pocket, takes out a dog biscuit, and offers it to the dog. Someone in the crowd yells “How can you reward that dog for what he did?! He nearly killed you!” “I’m not rewarding him,” the blind man said, “I need to know where his head is so I can kick his butt!”
Two elderly gentlemen sipping their beer outside a pub. One points to a dog licking its genitals and says, “Hey Bert, I wish I could do that.” Bert pauses, then replies, “Well, I’m sure he’d let you if you gave him a biscuit.”
If you think that dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving him only two of them.
I tried a dog biscuit earlier today. It didn’t taste anything like dog.
What did the dog biscuit say when it got ran over? Oh crumbs.
I just took a job at a dog biscuit factory. What can I say? I knead the dough.
Why did the dog biscuit go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
I went to the gardening store today as I needed some stuff for the garden (duhh). Anyway, when I get to the counter there was a small basket with some fancy dog biscuits. I grabbed a small crumbly bit and chewed on it, and then told the cute girl behind the counter, “You know what? These things don’t taste like dog at all”
Why did the Nazis feed their farmers dog biscuits? Because they were German Shepherds.
Jokes About Dog Biscuits
If you enjoyed these funny puns and jokes about dog biscuits, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:
