Dalmatian Jokes And Puns

If you’ve not spotted these funny Dalmatian jokes and puns, then you’re in for a treat! We’ve let them off the leash for you to enjoy!

Header image for a page of funny Dalmatian jokes and puns.

Funny Dalmatian Jokes

Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian.

It was the least I could do for him.

I reckon there were actually 102 Dalmatians.

But the other one was never spotted.

I went to the pet store to buy a Dalmatian, but they didn’t have any.

Their janitor keeps the store spotless.

Why do Dalmatians make such poor criminals?

Because they’re always spotted.

What does a Dalmatian say after it eats dinner?

That hit the spot.

Why can’t Dalmatians play hide and seek?

Because they’re always spotted.

My Dalmatian has trouble sleeping.

He can’t pick a spot.

I can’t take my Dalmatian to the duck pond anymore.

I guess that’s what you get for having a pure bread dog.

I heard Disney opened up a high school with a diverse field of study.

They even had a 101 on Dalmatians.

I thought I saw a white dog the other day.

But after I spotted it I saw it looked more like a Dalmatian.

What did the Dalmatian say to the masseuse?

Oooh yeah, that’s the spot.

Look at that Dalmatian there in the distance!

Well spotted!

Why do firefighters have Dalmatians?

So they can find the fire hydrant.

What is a dog’s favorite charity?

The Dalmatian Army.

Two friends are walking their dogs – a Dalmatian and a Chihuahua – when they smell something delicious coming from a nearby restaurant.

The guy with the Dalmatian says, “Let’s get something to eat.”

But the guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there, we have dogs with us.”

So the first guy says, “Just follow my lead.”

He puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks into the restaurant.

“Sorry,” says the owner, “No pets allowed.”

“But this is my seeing-eye dog,” the guy with the Dalmatian says.

“A Dalmatian?”

“Yes, they’re using them now.”

The owner says, “Very well, then, come on in.”

The guy with the Chihuahua repeats the process and gets the same response from the owner: “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.”

“But this is my seeing-eye dog,” says the second guy.

“A Chihuahua?” asks the incredulous owner.

“A Chihuahua?!” says the man in the dark glasses. “They gave me a Chihuahua?!”

How do you tell the difference between a Golder Retriever and a Dalmatian?

You get down on the floor and spin them around real fast. One of them is yellow and the other one is gray.

I just bought a Dalmatian puppy and I’ve found out that if you join all the dots together with a marker pen…

It doesn’t wash off.

Did you hear about the missing Dalmatian?

It’s been spotted.

I can’t remember if I had a Dalmatian or leopard when I was a kid.

Either way, my memory of my pet is kinda spotty.

Help! Has anyone seen my dalmatian?

It was last spotted all over.

My wife said that she wants the house spotless.

So I had to get rid of the Dalmatian.

After my breakup I moved into a new place and bought a Dalmatian.

Every day I took that dog for a walk past our old place and, day after day, I trained him to pee in her flowerbed and poop on her lawn.

It was a classic case of Spot marks the ex.

I asked my priest for forgiveness because I ate a dog.

He said I would suffer eternal Dalmatian.

My Dalmatian got away from me and ran through a car wash.

Now he’s spotless.

What did the cow say when she saw the Dalmatian?

Darn, I got to get in shape!

What do you call a Dalmatian thief with a headache?

Cruella Advil.

What’s a Dalmatian’s favorite lighting fixture?

A spot-light.

Jokes About Dalmatians

If you enjoyed these puns and jokes about Dalmatians, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: