Badger Jokes And Puns

We’ve been badgered long enough to bring you some more animal jokes, so here’s a great sett of funny badger jokes and puns!

Header image for a page of funny badger jokes and puns.

Funny Badger Jokes

I tried giving a badger two different types of pet food, but he couldn’t decide which to eat.

Apparently badgers can’t be choosers.

I called the ASPCA hotline to tell them I’d just found six badgers in a suitcase by the side of the road.

“Are they moving?” asked the operator.

“Not sure,” I replied…

“But that would explain the suitcase!”

I was out clubbing the other night, and DJ Badger was playing.

Great sett.

“We’ve been over this again and again and again!”

Complained my driving instructor, pointing at the badger.

What medal did the weasel war hero receive?

A badger of honor.

I was driving through the countryside when my satnav said “bear left”.

It was clearly a badger.

What do an eagle and a badger have in common?

They both fly. Except for the badger.

I tried to make some badger jelly last night.

I couldn’t get it to sett.

Why don’t badgers like fast food?

It’s hard for them to catch.

Three hunters were walking in a forest when they came across some tracks.

The first hunter claimed they were bear tracks.

The second frowned, and said, “No, those are certainly badger tracks.”

The third just laughed and said, “Honestly! You two crack me up! Those are obviously baby elephant tracks!”

And then the train hit them.

Why did the badger cross the road?

To prove to the possum that it could be done.

I had to chase a badger away from my house the other day wearing my pyjamas.

I’ve no idea how he got into them.

A vulture is walking down the jetway at the airport.

He has two dead badgers, one under each wing.

The stewardess stops him and says, “I’m sorry sir, you’re only allowed one carrion.”

What do you call a badger with a carrot in each ear?

Anything you want, he can’t hear you.

Why did the badger cross the road?

It was the chicken’s day off.

I’m going to the Chinese takeaway tonight and I’m going to try the sweet and sour badger with special fried badger cubs.

It’s a sett meal for one.

The teacher askeds the class to name six mammals that you might find in the countryside.

Little Johnny replied, “Five badgers and a squirrel.”

A man goes to the cinema and after taking his seat, he notices a badger sitting on next to him eating popcorn.

The man asks, “What are you doing here?”

The badger replies, “Well, I enjoyed the book.”

What’s black and white and red all over?

A sunburned badger.

When does a badger go “moo”?

When it’s learning a new language.

A man and his pet badger walk into a bar.

It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking.

They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts.

As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.

Finally, the bartender says, “Last call.”

So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my badger.”

The bartender sets them up and they down their drinks.

Suddenly, the badger falls over dead.

The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.

The bartender, yells, “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.”

To which the man replies, “That’s not a lion, that’s a badger.”

What do you get when you cross a badger, a wolf, and a Marine?

A nice new government job.

Jokes About Badgers

If you liked these funny puns and jokes about badgers, you’ll love the rest of LaffGaff where we have lots more funny jokes, such as these: