Deer Jokes And Puns

We thought we’d better buck up our ideas and bring you these funny deer jokes and puns! You’re sure to be fawning over them!

Header image for a page of funny deer jokes and puns.

Funny Deer Jokes And Puns

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea.

When I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer, I immediately reported him to the authorities.

Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck.

Why did the deer need braces?

He had buck teeth.

My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.

I said, “How do you know it was going to school?”

Did you know that fully grown deer don’t like melted cheese?

But their fawn do.

Did you know that deer can jump higher than the average house?

This is due to the fact that deer have incredibly strong hind legs, and the average house can’t jump.

I tried to trade a deer for fireworks.

I want the best bang for my buck.

My friend found a deer stuck in a fence.

It took him 3 hours, but he was able to rescue it.

He’ll do anything for a buck.

I was bitten by a deer.

Now every full moon I turn into a weredoe.

What do you call a deer in a twister?

A torna-doe.

What do you call a deer with 20/20 vision?

A good eye deer.

I believe that venison made from female deer should be classed as a form of bread.

After all, it’s cooked doe.

What you call a deer in the shower?

A raindeer.

If I had a buck for ever deer pun I’ve made…

I’d have lots of doe.

Why should you avoid hunting deer with a shotgun?

Because if you encounter a deer who has a shotgun, it’s best to just leave them alone.

My deer cloning operation has succeeded!

I can finally make a quick buck.

What’s a deer’s favourite dessert?

Doe-nuts.

What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts cost $1.50 per pound, deer nuts are always under a buck.

A physicist, an engineer and a statistician go on a hunting trip.

They see a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance to the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, he fires but misses five feet to the left.

The engineer says he forgot to account for the wind, takes the rifle, aims and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician claps and says, “We got him!”

I walked into a store and noticed they were selling deer nuts for $1.25.

Every other time I’ve seen them, they were under a buck.

A deer had a bar. One day, he found the toilet window broken, so he asked the patrons “Who broke the window!?”

A hare responded “I kinda did…”

The deer asked “What do you mean by “kinda”?”

The hare said, “Well, I was taking a dump and after the bear finished his, he took me and tried to wipe his butt, but then he saw I wasn’t toilet paper and threw me right out of the window.”

The deer fined the bear $500.

A few days later, the window got broken again, so the deer asked “Who broke the window!?”

A squirrel responded “I kinda did…”

The deer asked “What do you mean by “kinda”?”

The squirrel said, “Well, I was taking a dump and after the bear finished his, he took me and tried to wipe his butt, but then he saw I wasn’t toilet paper and threw me right out of the window.”

The deer fined the bear $1,000.

A few days later, the whole toilet got messed up: the fixtures smashed, the toilet broken and bloodied, the window broken, the door scratched, etc. So the deer asked “Who did all this!?”

The hedgehog replied, “I kinda did…”

Three animals walk into a bar – a duck, a skunk and a deer.

They go up to the bar and order 3 drinks.

“5 dollars,” Says the bartender.

The deer looks at the duck and says, “I don’t have a buck to my name!”

The skunk cries, “I have no money, not even a scent!”

The duck says to the bartender, “It’s alright, just put it on my bill.”

More Funny Animal Jokes

If you deer-ly enjoyed our hilarious jokes about deer, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more animal jokes, such as these: