Funny Animal JokesThere's a huge variety of animals in the world, which is great news for laughter lovers because it means there's also a huge number of funny animal jokes and puns too! And we consider it our duty here at LaffGaff to devote ourselves to gathering them all together for you.
So we hope you enjoy these funny animal jokes...
The swordfish has no natural predators to be afraid of.
Except for the penfish, which is thought to be mightier.
Some people think that killing animals with helium is wrong.
I don’t judge…
Whatever floats your goat.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One’s a crusty bus station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
I was at the beach today and I saw a man in the water shouting, “Help! Shark! Help!”
I laughed because I knew the shark wasn’t going to help him.
What’s heavier – a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
A ton of feathers, because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves one day and the wolves chased them into a thicket where they hid.
After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, “Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?”
I once owned a goldfish that could breakdance on the carpet.
Only for like 20 seconds though.
What do a dog and a near-sighted gynaecologist have in common?
A wet nose.
I told my friend that I made $500 a month selling dog poop.
He said, “That’s gross!”
I said, “No, that’s net.”
What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus?
A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
