Funny Animal Jokes
There's a huge variety of animals in the world, which is great news for laughter lovers because it means there's also a huge number of funny animal jokes and puns too!
And we consider it our duty here at LaffGaff to devote ourselves to gathering them all together for you.
So we hope you enjoy this menagerie of funny animal jokes...
Best Animal Jokes
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"
The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog doesn't bite."
The man then tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
"Ouch," says the man, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
The shopkeeper replies, "That's not my dog!"
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
A lost dog strays into the jungle one day.
From a distance, a lion sees this and thinks to himself, "Hmmm, this guy looks edible, I've never seen his kind before".
So the lion starts running towards the dog with menace but the dog notices this and starts to panic.
As he's about to run he sees some bones on the ground next to him, gets an idea and says loudly, "Mmm... That was some good lion meat!"
The lion screeches to a halt and says, "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can" and then runs away.
Over in a tree, is a monkey who sees everything and realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion what happened and getting something in return.
So the monkey finds the lion and tells him what really happened. The lion says to the monkey angrily, "Get on my back, we'll get him together".
So the monkey climbs on the lion's back and they start rushing back to the dog.
The dog sees them, realizes what has happened and starts to panic even more.
But then he gets another idea and shouts, "Where is that monkey!?! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago..."
A grasshopper walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"
How do electric eels taste?
Why are leopards no good at playing hide and seek?
Because they're always spotted.
Why do crabs never share?
Because they're shellfish.