Noah’s Ark

One day God calls down to Noah and says, “Noah my old buddy, I want you to make me a new ark.”

Noah replies, “No problem God, my old Supreme Being, anything you want after all you’re the boss!”

But God interrupts, “Ah, but there’s a catch. This time Noah, I do not want just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other.”

“20 decks!”, shouts Noah. “Well, Okay Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?”

“Yep, that’s right, well… sort of right… this time I want you to fill it up with fish,” God answers.

“Fish?” queries Noah.

“Yep, fish . . well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp wall to wall, floor to ceiling carp!”

Noah looks to the skies. “Okay God, let me get this right, You want a new ark?”

“Yeah.”

“With 20 decks, one on top of the other?”

“Yeah.”

“And you want it full of carp?”

“Check.”

“But why?” asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.

“Dunno,” says God, “I just fancied a multi-storey carp ark.”


Guide Dogs

Two men are walking their dogs (a doberman and a chihuahua) when they see a restaurant.

They’re pretty hungry, so they decide to head in for a bite to eat. Unfortunately, they see a sign out front that says “NO DOGS ALLOWED”.

The man with the doberman says “I know what to do, just follow my lead.” He throws on a pair of sunglasses and walks in.

The waiter tells him “I’m sorry sir, we don’t allow dogs here.” The man says “Oh, you don’t understand. I’m blind and this is my guide dog.”

“A doberman for a guide dog?” The waiter asks, skeptical.

“Yes.” The man replies. “Dobermans are very loyal. They’re easy to train and protective too. They’re born for the job.”

The waiter sighs and leads the man to a table.

The second man, excited by this idea, throws on his sunglasses and walks in.

The waiter tells him “I’m sorry sir, we don’t allow dogs here.” The man says “Oh, you don’t understand. I’m blind and this is my guide dog.”

“A chihuahua for a guide dog?” The waiter asks.

“A chihuahua?” The man asks. “They gave me a chihuahua?!”