If you’ve had another tiring day on the work treadmill, why don’t you give these funny exercise jokes and puns a good work out? We’re sure you’ll find them fit for purpose!
Funny Exercise Jokes
A boxer was throwing nothing but right hooks at a punching bag.
His trainer walked up and asked, “What gives?”
The boxer replied, “I’m exercising my rights.”
I’ve been trying to come up with jokes about people who don’t exercise.
But none of them work out.
I asked my wife for suggestions for an exercise routine.
She said, “Why don’t you try lunges?”
I said, “That’s … a big step.”
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins.
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women, I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl and I said, “It didn’t work out.”
She told me to be more specific so I said, “I just told you, she didn’t exercise.”
My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
I just dodged a bullet.
I’m starting a gym where we bring exercise equipment right to your front door, whether you requested it or not.
I’m calling it “Jehovah’s Fitness”.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly squats.
What was the name of the place Jesus went to exercise?
Jehovah’s Fitness.
I asked my girlfriend if she does any other exercises…
Other than jumping to conclusions.
What is a sloth’s favorite form of exercise?
Running late.
I own only two types of clothes.
I wear my gym clothes when I exercise.
For formal occasions, I wear my James clothes.
Everyday I tell the wife I’m gonna do a few miles around the neighborhood for exercise but I never do.
It’s a running joke I have.
Lately I’ve found myself hiding from exercise all the time.
I think I’m in a fitness protection program.
How does a T-Rex feel after vigorous exercise?
Dino-sore.
Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one?
Chasing a car. After running from a car you’ll just be tired, but after chasing one you’ll be exhausted.
What did Jesus do for exercise?
CrossFit.
I’ve finally done some exercise.
Feels like a weight’s been lifted.
I was going to jump rope for exercise this morning.
But I ended up skipping it.
A tip to reduce weight: First turn your head to the right and then to the left.
Repeat this exercise whenever your offered something to eat.
I don’t see how me exercising will stop children from losing their parents.
But people keep telling me it helps end orphans.
I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don’t think about it again for the rest of the week.
I like doing push-ups.
They’re my favorite exercise, hands down.
Wanna know my favorite leg day exercise?
Skipping.
I forgot to take my banana to the gym today.
It was a fruitless exercise.
What is the most important exercise for being a paramedic?
The deadlift.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work…
We were able to lift his coffin.
My friend keeps insisting that I should always warm up before I start exercising.
I think that’s a stretch.
I tried exercising, but I was allergic to it.
My skin became flushed, my heart raced, and I got all sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
Why did the farmer take his cows to the gym?
To exercise his calves.
What’s a fat ghost’s biggest fear?
Being exercised.
What kind of exercise would you find a procrastinator doing?
Time crunches.
My wife insists that yoga is the best form of exercise.
But I think it’s kind of a stretch.
What kind of exercise do you do after having too many Starbucks?
Pee-lattes.
What exercise equipment does a koala use?
A eucalyptical.
What exercise do sea creatures do a lot of?
Plank-tons.
Exercise alone won’t get you into shape. You have to diet too.
There’s no weigh around it.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
My doctor told me to start doing hand exercises.
I’m struggling to grasp the importance of this.
In the supermarket, my son and I saw a cashier holding a customer’s note up to the light.
“Is that counterfeit?” my son asked.
I said, “Don’t be silly, son. Counters don’t exercise.”
When Chris Hemsworth was cast by Marvel they gave him an exercise routine.
When asked what he thought of it, he responded, “I was Thor just thinking about it.”
My favorite exercise at the gym…
Is exercising my right to not go to the gym.
Did you know janitors created a weightlifting exercise?
They call it the power clean.
A friend of mine is having surgery tomorrow for an umbilical hernia.
He was injured during a navel training exercise.
My favourite exercise is a cross between a crunch and a lunge…
It’s called lunch.
I decided I want to do some more exercise after listening to Queen.
I want to ride my bicycle.
My physiotherapist has told me I need to stop doing most bodyweight exercises.
He told me to keep my chin up though.
Why do politically active weightlifters have weaker left sides?
Because they’re really into exercising their rights.
What’s Ned Flanders’ favorite exercise?
Diddly squat.
I can’t take my dog to the pond for exercise because the ducks keep attacking him.
That’s what you get for buying a pure bread dog.
What is Shrek’s favourite exercise?
Yogre.
How do Eskimos exercise?
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?”
“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”
“That’s amazing,” said the woman. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-six,” he said.
I always wear a sleeveless shirt to the gym…
But the only thing I exercise is my right to bare arms.
Exercising when you get older is so important.
My grandma started walking 5 miles a day when she turned 65.
Now she’s 92 and we don’t know where she is.
My doctor said I should exercise on top of a healthy diet.
But surely a treadmill would make more sense?
What do you call a girl that routinely does kegel exercises?
Jacked in the box.
Apparently, exercise improves your decision making.
It’s true. After going to the gym today I’ve decided I’m never going again.
I think after the pandemic ends I’m still gonna wear masks when I exercise.
It’s a bit of a running gag.
We’ve got an aviary at home, but one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80s music.
Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark.
Attempted to exercise this morning…
Didn’t work out.
My wife started swimming for exercise.
She said it gave her a sense of porpoise.
I never thought I’d be the type of person to wake up at 5 in the morning to exercise.
I was right.
I created a fetish exercise program, but I don’t know how to end it.
We are still working out the kinks.
What does seven days without exercise make?
One weak.
I offered free exercise lessons for the homeless.
Now I’ve got 100 squatters.
Exercise Jokes
If you liked these puns and jokes about exercise, try out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, including these:
