Orphan Jokes

We finally found a good home for all our favorite funny orphan jokes and puns! And the best thing is, they don’t need to be family-friendly!

Header image for a page of funny orphan jokes and puns.

Funny Orphan Jokes And Puns

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?

It doesn’t have a home page.

What kind of flour do you buy an orphan?

Self raising flour.

Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb.

I said, “Awww, are you an orphan”?

He said, “Yes, what gave me away?”

I said, “Your parents.”

What is the difference between a prince, a bald headed man, a monkey and an orphan?

The first is an heir apparent, the second has no apparent hair, the third has hairy parent and the last has nary a parent.

Who isn’t allowed to watch PG movies?

Orphans.

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?

Because it has no home button.

I created a website for orphans.

There isn’t a home page.

Why are orphans bad at poker?

Because they don’t know what a full house is.

If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.

Who are they going to tell? Their parents?

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan and the other is an ore fan.

What did one orphan say to the other?

Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!

A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents.

He begs the judge to spare his life.

The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy.

The boy replies, “I’m an orphan, your honor.”

I don’t see how me exercising will stop children from losing their parents.

But people keep telling me it helps end orphans.

Why is it good being an orphan?

Every bag of chips is family sized.

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him “go big or go home”, he only had one option.

My friend who grew up an orphan, was ordained as a priest yesterday.

He’s Father Les.

The f in orphan stands for family.

Wait!

Why didn’t the duck family take in the orphaned cygnet?

‘Swan more mouth to feed.

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

What is an orphan’s favorite beer?

Fosters.

Where did the orphans go after the orphanage blew up?

Everywhere.

Why is an empty champagne bottle like an orphan?

Because it has lost its pops.

What do orphans get at Christmas?

Lonely.

My ex was orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed these funny orphan jokes and puns, take a look around the rest of LaffGaff, the home of lots more funny jokes such as these: