Who doesn’t love a good running joke and they don’t get better than these hilarious jogging jokes and puns! So jog on and read them now – they’ll leave you breathless with laughter!
Funny Jogging Jokes
In 2017 I didn’t jog. In 2018 I didn’t jog. In 2019 I didn’t jog. In 2020 I still haven’t jogged.
This is a running joke.
While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill.
People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
A man found a tennis ball while out jogging and put it in his pocket to give his dog back home.
As he stopped to wait at the traffic lights, a woman next to him couldn’t help but notice the large bulge in his trouser pocket.
“Tennis ball” the man said.
“Oh, that must be painful,” she replied. “I had tennis elbow once!”
For the past three weeks, I’ve been jogging a mile a day.
Now I don’t know where I am.
If you have trouble remembering your password, find a picture of some running shoes and stare at it.
Maybe it’ll help jog your memory.
This morning, I jogged around the block 15 times.
Then I picked it up, and put it back in my kid’s toy box.
I’m going to jog from Sweden to Finland…
And cross the Finnish line.
Every day at breakfast, I announce that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.
It’s my longest running joke of the year.
Why should you never go for a jog if it is raining cats and dogs outside?
You might step in a poodle.
Two old aged guys, one 70 and one 75, were sitting on a park bench one morning.
The 75-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath.
The 70-year-old was amazed at the guy’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 75-year-old said, “Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies.”
So, on the way home the 70-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, “Do you have any rye bread?”
She said, “Yes, there’s a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?”
He said, “I want five loaves.”
She said, “My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it’ll be hard.”
He replied, “I can’t believe everybody knows about this stuff except me!?”
“Dad why are you running around?”
“That’s the thing, I can’t remember why so I’m trying to jog my memory.”
My name is Aaron. My son’s name is Aaron too. Every morning, we go for a jog together.
When my wife asks where we went, I tell her we were just running Aarons.
A fat man sees a sign on a door: lose 1 pound for $1.
He puts a dollar in the slot and enters.
There is a jogging track with a beautiful naked woman wearing jogging shoes.
“Better start running” she says, beckoning him. Excited, he chases her around the track for an hour. Finally he catches her, she… ahem… rewards him… then he steps on the scale. He lost 1 pound!
As he leaves he sees a new sign next door. “Lose 2 pounds for $2”. He pays, enters. This time there are two gorgeous naked women in running shoes.
They say “Better start running.” He does, chasing them around the track. Two hours later he catches them. He is doubly… rewarded. On his way out the scale shows he lost 2 pounds!
The man leaves. Sure enough, next door there is a final sign: “Lose 3 pounds for $3.” By now the fat man is exhausted and can barely walk… but he cannot resist. He pays and enters.
The door slams shut behind him and locks.
Alone on the running track is a 6’4″ muscular male body builder, naked except for running shoes. The naked athlete smiles at the fat man and says…
“Better start running.”
Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her cat in her arms.
“Hey, lady”, yells Larry, “Throw me the cat!” “No,” she cries, “It’s too far!” “I play football. I can catch him!”
The smoke is pouring from the windows. The woman kisses her cat goodbye and tosses it down to the street. Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him.
The feline bounces off an awning and he runs into the street to catch it. He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one-handed catch.
The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire breaks into cheers.
Larry does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles his knees back and forth, then spikes the cat into the pavement.
I came home from work early today, and I saw a guy jogging down the street in his underwear.
I asked him, “Why are you jogging in your underwear?”
He said, “You came home from work early”.