Yoga Jokes

These funny yoga jokes aren’t a stretch at all even though we bent over backwards to bring them to you! Laughing at them certainly won’t leave you in an awkward position, so enjoy them!

Header image for a page of funny yoga jokes and puns.

Funny Yoga Jokes And Puns

My wife asked if I was going to yoga with her.

I said, “Namaste home today.”

I wanted to tell a yoga joke.

But it was a bit of a stretch.

I would like to start doing yoga but I can never find the time to.

I am not very flexible.

The other day my yoga instructor turned up to the class drunk.

I was put in quite an awkward position.

My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.

I just dodged a bullet.

What happened to the yoga instructor who was arrested?

She was sentenced to a long stretch.

I signed up for yoga, and our new instructor is awesome.

She really bends over backwards for us.

Do you know what’s the best thing about being a yoga instructor?

The flexible hours.

A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 AM.

I told her, “Namaste in bed.”

90% of the women that wear yoga pants don’t do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

I rang up a yoga instructor and asked which class I should take.

She said, “How flexible are you?”

I said, “I can’t do Tuesdays.”

Why can’t you trust yoga instructors?

Because everything they do is quite a stretch.

At first I thought the yoga instructor was lying.

But then I realized she was just stretching the truth.

Why didn’t the redneck leave the yoga class when it was over?

On his way out he said, “See you next week.”

The instructor responded, “Namaste.”

And the redneck said, “Oh. Then I’m-a-stayin too.”

My yoga teacher said that downward dog will take one to a place of spiritual revelation.

That’s a big stretch.

I didn’t believe my friend who told me yoga would fix my posture.

I now stand corrected.

I’ve been doing yoga for 5 years.

It’s been a long stretch.

Did you hear about the yoga instructor turned serial killer?

Her murders were pre-meditated.

Yoga bends. Yoga stretches. Yoga realizes he’s completely out of shape.

Yoga pants.

I started dating my yoga instructor.

Now we’re friends with zenefits.

Being a yoga instructor puts you in a unique position.

Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants.

I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for me, because it’s comfortable.

Who cares if you can see my balls?

Three things that never lie:

Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants.

I asked my friend if she wanted to do yoga in the park?

“In this heat?” She said, “Namaste at home.”

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed these funny yoga jokes and puns, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these:

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