Tennis Jokes

You’ll love these funny tennis jokes and puns. We don’t even have to deuce them up for you because we’ve netted all the best ones! Just don’t make a racket laughing at them!

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Funny Tennis Jokes And Puns

My wife said she’s leaving me because of my obsession with tennis – and I’m too old.

I said, “I’m only 40 love.”

I had a game of quiet tennis today.

It’s just like regular tennis but without the racket.

Never marry a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

I’ve made a website for depressed tennis players.

The servers are currently down.

I’ve just got back from my friend’s funeral.

He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service.

I’ve sacked my tennis doubles partner.

I’ve told him his services are no longer required.

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette.

My tennis opponent was not happy with my serve.

He kept returning it.

My wife said to me, “We need to get to the tennis court before it opens.”

I asked, “Why so early?”

She said, “It’s first come first serve.”

My wife was disappointed when she found out why my friends call me “The Love Machine”.

Because I suck at tennis.

Did you hear they invented a new version of tennis that’s supposed to be harder?

It’s called elevennis.

Why do elephants wear red tennis shoes?

So they can hide in apple trees.

Well, have you ever seen an elephant hiding in an apple tree? I guess it works!

Why did the man buy 9 racquets?

Because tennis too many.

Why should dog owners invest in tennis balls?

They have a high rate of return.

My wife said to me, “I can think of 14 others reasons to leave you, besides your obsession with tennis!”

I replied, “That’s 15 love!”

I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”

She said, “It’s Venus.”

I said, “Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?”

A blonde is on the bus when this guy gets on with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sits down next to her.

The confused blonde keeps looking at him and his bulging pockets.

He notices her looking and eventually, after many such glances from her, he says, “It’s golf balls.”

Nevertheless, the blonde continues to look at him for a very long time, appearing to think deeply about what he had said.

After several minutes, she can’t contain her curiosity any more and asks:

“Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”

Men at 25 play football.

Men at 40 play tennis.

Men at 60 play golf.

Have you noticed how as you get older your balls get smaller?

Are kindly tennis umpires generous to a fault?

I’m trying to get a petition together to prevent the construction of tennis courts in my local park.

I just think there’ll be too much racket.

What was the score when the lemon played tennis with the orange?

Deuce.

I got arrested for crying after losing my tennis match.

I’ve been charged with racket tearing.

My local sports store is having a tennis ball sale.

First come, first served.

My tennis double’s partner is a waiter from my local restaurant.

You should see him serve.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed these funny tennis jokes and puns, the rest of LaffGaff‘s funny jokes will be a perfect match for you, such as these: