Cincinnati Bengals Jokes And Puns

Sporting rivalry between fans is great fun. If you’re looking for some funny Cincinnati Bengals jokes and puns to roast a supporter, then these are ideal! Have fun!

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Funny Cincinnati Bengals Jokes

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.

They put a Bengals jersey on it and now it sucks again.

What do you think the Bengals’ game plan is this Sunday?

Passing mostly, but I hope they Mixon the run.

What’s the difference between Cincinnati Bengals fans and mosquitoes?

Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Bengals fan, and a Steelers fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.

The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. “This is for the Redskins!” he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.

Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, “This is for the Eagles!” and throws himself off the mountain.

The Steelers fan is next to profess his love for his team.

He yells, “This is for everyone!” and pushes the Bengals fan off the mountain.

How many Cincinnati Bengals does it take to win a Super Bowl?

Nobody knows and we may never find out.

What is the difference between a Bengals fan and a baby?

The baby will stop whining after a while.

Where do you go in case of a tornado?

The Paul Brown Stadium – they never get a touchdown there.

What did the Bengals fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?

“Darnit mom, why’d you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream.”

Why are female Cincinatti Bengal fans open to date?

Because they don’t expect a ring in the future.

What does a Cincinnati Bengals fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

He turns off the PlayStation.

What is a Cincinnati Bengals fan’s favorite wine?

“We can’t beat the Steelers.”

What do you call a Cincinnati Bengal with a Super Bowl Championship ring?

A thief.

What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60?

Four Bengals fans watching a football game.

What’s the difference between the Cincinnati Bengals and a dollar bill?

You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Why doesn’t Dayton, Ohio have a professional football team?

Because then Cincinnati would want one.

What does a Bengals fan say to a robber?

I hate the Steelers.

How did the Cincinnati Bengals fan die from drinking milk?

The cow fell on him.

How do you know the Ohio State Police are seriously enforcing the speed limits into Cincinnati.

For the first offense, they give you two Cincinnati Bengals tickets.

If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Cincinnati Bengals football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.

Coach Zac Taylor immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate.

After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.

Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

What do the Cincinnati Bengals and possums have in common?

Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

How many Bengals fans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They are happy living in Pittsburgh’s shadow.

Tonight on Thursday Night Football, the stadium was 25% full of fans.

Turns out they didn’t actually have any Covid policies in place.

That’s just the kind of turnout you get when it’s the Bengals and the Browns.

I went to a Bengals game last year when they were playing the Patriots.

The stadium wasn’t completely empty, as a matter of fact I was sitting beside a man with a German Shepard.

This seemed odd, but the dog was intensely watching the game.

In the fourth quarter the Bengals were surely losing, the dog started to tear up.

Nearing the end of the game the dog was crying and whimpering.

When the game was over the dog started openly and inconsolably weeping.

I asked the guy, “What’s the matter?” and he said, “Don’t worry, Boomer does this every time the Bengals lose.”

So I asked, “If he does this when they lose, what does he do when they win?”

He said, “I don’t know, I’ve only had him since 2012.”

How do you keep the Cincinnati Bengals out of your yard?

Put up goal posts.

Son: What’s a touchdown?

Dad: I’m not sure son, we’re Cincinnati Bengals fans.

On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Bengals fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Bengals fans.

Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, “Janie, why didn’t you raise your hand?”

“Because I’m not a Bengals fan,” she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, “Well, if you’re not a Bengals fan, then who are you a fan of?”

“I’m a Steelers fan, and proud of it,” Janie replied.

The teacher couldn’t believe her ears.

“Janie please tell us why you are a Steelers fan?”

“Because my mom is a Steelers fan, and my dad is Steelers fan, so I’m a Steelers fan too!”

“Well,” said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, “That is no reason for you to be a Steelers fan. You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?”

“Then,” Janie smiled, “I’d be a Bengals fan.”

Little Johnny was taken from his parents and they were deemed unfit to raise him.

He went to family court where a judge would decide his fate.

Johnny had a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

But Johnny surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.

When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, Johnny cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Cincinnati Bengals, who everyone agreed are not capable of beating anyone.

How can you tell when the Cincinnati Bengals are going to run the football?

The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.

What’s the difference between a coconut and a Bengals fan?

One is thick and hairy, the other is a tropical fruit.

The Bengals are apparently under investigation by the IRS for tax evasion.

It seems they’ve been claiming for silver polish for the last 10 years.

How do you stop a Cincinnati Bengals fan from beating his wife?

Dress her in Pittsburgh Steelers black and gold.

What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

The Cincinnati Bengals.

Jokes About The Cincinnati Bengals

If you enjoyed these jokes about the Bengals, be sure to take a look at the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:

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