Kansas City Chiefs Jokes

Here’s a great collection of funny Kansas City Chiefs jokes if you’re looking to wind up a Chiefs fan this football season!

Header image for a page of funny Kansas City Chiefs jokes.

Funny Kansas City Chiefs Jokes

Which football team cooks gourmet meals together?

The Kansas City Chefs.

What does a Kansas City Chiefs fan and a bottle of beer have in common?

They’re both empty from the neck up.

Why can’t Patrick Mahomes use his phone?

Because he can’t find the receiver.

What’s the hardest thing about being a Kansas City quarterback?

The ground.

How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house?

Paint a goal line on your driveway.

What’s the difference between a Chiefs fan and a baby?

The baby will stop whining after a while.

Why do Kansas City Chiefs fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?

So they can park in handicap spaces.

How do you keep a Kansas City football player out of your yard?

Put up goal posts.

What do the Kansas City Chiefs and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?

Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

How are the Chiefs like my neighbors?

They can’t pick up a single yard.

What’s the difference between Chiefs fans and mosquitoes?

Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

Why do ducks fly over Arrowhead stadium upside down?

There’s nothing worth crapping on.

How does a Chiefs quarterback get signals from the sideline?

Smoke signals.

How many Chiefs fans does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they are happy living in Denver’s shadow.

What’s the difference between the Chiefs and water?

Water runs.

My wife was about to put my son in a Kansas City Chiefs jersey, until I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

What is a Kansas City Chiefs fan’s favorite wine?

“We can’t beat San Diego.”

I painted a Chiefs logo on an airplane.

Now it can’t touchdown.

What can Chiefs players catch at Mile High Stadium?

Bronco-itis.

How do you stop an Kansas City Chiefs fan from beating his wife?

Dress her in San Diego blue and gold.

What do Chiefs fans and horse flies have in common?

They’re both annoying.

How do you castrate a Kansas City Chiefs fan?

Kick his sister in the mouth.

What did the Kansas City fan do when his team won the Super Bowl?

He turned off his XBox.

How did the Kansas City Chiefs fan die from drinking milk?

The cow fell on him.

Son: What’s a touchdown?

Dad: I’m not sure son, we’re Kansas City Chiefs fans.

What’s the difference between a female Chiefs fan and a pitbull?

Lipstick.

A guy is scoping out chicks in a bar when he sees one wearing a Kansas City Chiefs jersey.

He walks up to her and says, “Hi. My name is 21 Point Lead.”

The woman laughs and replies, “That’s not your name!”

The guy says, “You’re right, but I figured anyone wearing a Chiefs jersey would blow a 21 point lead.”

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