Softball Jokes

We didn’t want to play hardball with you so here’s a great collection of funny softball jokes and puns that are sure to leave in stitches!

Header image for a page of funny softball jokes and puns.

Funny Softball Jokes And Puns

Who calls balls and strikes at the annual Vatican softball game?

The Holy Roman Umpire.

How many softball players does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They’re all too busy arguing the last call.

Why can’t you trust a softball pitcher?

Because they use underhanded tactics.

What did the glove say to the ball?

Catch ya later.

Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team?

She kept running away from the ball.

What does a softball player do when she loses her eyesight?

She becomes an umpire.

I was casually interviewed by an athletics coach today.

He asked a lot of softball questions.

Why did the pastry chef hire a softball pitcher?

Because she knew how to handle the batter.

Low wage workers play basketball.

Tradesmen go bowling.

Middle managers play softball.

Upper managers play tennis.

CEOs play golf.

The lesson: the higher you climb, the smaller your balls get.

Jungle animals started a softball league where the teams are separated by species.

A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.

He replied, “Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2…”

“Quit monkeying around”, the bird chuckled, “I just want to know which field I’m on.”

“Species puns, huh?” he replied, “Well toucan play at that game.”

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb, had been friends all of their lives.

When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day.

One day Barb said, “Rose, we both loved playing women’s softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s women’s softball up there.”

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and said, “Barb, you’ve been my best friend for many years. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favor for you.”

Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

A few nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, “Barb, Barb!”

“Who is it?” asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. “Who is it?”

“Barb, it’s me… Rose.”

“You’re not Rose. Rose just died.”

“I’m telling you, it’s me, Rose,” insisted the voice.

“Rose! Where are you?”

“In Heaven,” replied Rose. “I have some really good news and a little bad news.”

“Tell me the good news first,” said Barb.

“The good news,” Rose said, “is that there’s softball in heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we’re all young again. Better still, it’s always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.”

“That’s fantastic,” said Barb. “It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So what’s the bad news?”

“You’re pitching on Tuesday.”

Why did the softball player get a music deal?

Her first single was a hit.

A group of softball players, all in their 40’s, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the waitresses were young, good looking, had big breasts and wore short-shorts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the softball buddies once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the food and service was good, they had many televisions to watch the games on, and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the team again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace, and it was good value for the money.

Ten years later, at age 70, they discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because they had never been there before

I felt betrayed when my girlfriend joined a softball league without telling me.

Of all the underhanded things.

Don’t date a girl who just got hit in the eye with a softball.

She’s a bad catch.

What’s Tom Brady’s favorite sport?


Softball is just like baseball.

Except the tactics seem more underhanded.

When I was younger I was able to grip a 16 inch softball in my hand so securely that nobody could pull it away.

So they had to cancel the game.

I used to date a girl that played softball.

She dumped me after I tried to steal home.

What goes all the way around the softball field but doesn’t move?

The fence.

What is the difference between a softball player and a baby?

The baby will stop whining after a while.

How do softball players sing acapella?

In perfect pitch.

Why are frogs great outfielders?

They never miss a fly.

Why did the cops go to the softball game?

Because they heard someone was stealing a base.

During a softball game, the coach said to one of her young players, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”

The little girl nodded with affirmation.

“Do you understand that what matters most is whether we play together as a team and put forth our best effort?”

The little girl nodded yes.

“So,” the coach continued, “When a strike is called, or you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all of that?”

Again the little girl nodded.

“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain it to your father.”

When does royalty watch softball?

During knight games.

More Funny Jokes

If you liked our funny softball jokes and puns, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny sports jokes such as these:

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