Bingo Jokes

Eyes down for a full house of funny bingo jokes! There’s a lot on the line when it comes to bingo, but these hilarious jokes certainly aren’t here just to make up the numbers!

Header image for a page of funny bingo jokes and puns.

Funny Bingo Jokes

Did you hear about the bingo caller who had a tumor?

Luckily, the tumor was B-9.

How do you get five sweet, kind, angelic, Christian, old ladies to swear like sailors?

Have a 6th one shout, “Bingo!”

What do vampires play bingo with?

Stake money.

I invited a blind bingo caller to my dinner party.

He’s not a close friend, he’s just there to make up the numbers.

Try not to take your bingo too seriously.

At the end of the day, it’s just a load of balls.

An old married couple were playing bingo.

The old man kept looking over his wife’s shoulder saying, “You’ve got that number, mark it off, you’ve got that number, mark it off.”

After putting up with this for some time, the old woman got annoyed and said angrily, “Why don’t you do your own sheet?”

The old man replied, “I can’t, it’s full!”

What do you call it when an elderly man that won three bingos in a row?

A Jerry hat-trick.

What do cats say when they play bingo?

Eyes down for a full mouse.

How do you get 500 cows into a barn?

Put a bingo sign on it.

What do you say when your husband says, “Now it’s time to choose between bingo and me”?

“I’m going to miss you darling.”

How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?

B-52.

Why don’t physicists and Bingo players get along?

They disagree on the application and existence of a free space.

What do you call a woman who’s addicted to online bingo?

Betty.

Why do Japanese people hate bingo?

They all scramble for cover when you call B-29.

Why do they call bingo in Latin in Catholic churches?

So the Protestants can’t win.

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

A bingo machine.

I started my new job as a bingo caller last night and halfway through calling the numbers I farted loudly.

My boss immediately came over and whispered in my ear, “Don’t do that again.”

“Sorry,” I said, “It must be the nerves.”

“Fair enough,” he replied, “But there was no need to hold the microphone to your ass.”

How can you tell that a Bingo player just isn’t into you?

When you call their numbers 5 times in a row and they still don’t answer.

An old woman goes to the doctor’s office.

The doctor gives her a checkup and says, “I need to do stool, blood and urine tests.”

The old woman says, “Can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour.”

An little old woman arrives home from bingo and her husband comes running up to her saying, “Thank goodness you’re home safe! I was watching the news and apparently a lunatic was driving down the wrong side of the freeway!”

She replied, “A lunatic? There were hundreds of them!”

More Funny Jokes

If you liked these bingo jokes, check out the rest of our funny jokes, including these: