We’re all ears when it comes to hilarious jokes, and so here’s a great collection of our favorite big ear jokes, puns and insults. We bet you’ve not heard them all before!
Funny Big Ear Jokes
A nervous man with a wooden eye is alone at a dance.
He’s to poor to afford a proper eye so he’s really insecure about it and has trouble talking to women.
At the dance he sees this pretty looking lady also standing alone across the room.
He notices she has these kind of big ears so he thinks maybe he has a shot with her.
He walks over and asks her if she’d like to dance.
She says excitedly, “Would I? Would I?”
He says, “Aw get lost then you big-eared cow!”
Your ears are so big you don’t need an alarm clock, you can hear the sun come up in the morning.
Your ears are so big you use shower heads as earbuds.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
Your ears are so big when there’s a light breeze outside, your head spins like a weather vane.
Why does an elephant have big ears?
Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom.
Your ears are so big your parents put you on the roof to see which way the wind is blowing.
What furry creature with big ears brings network connectivity to children on a particular Sunday every April?
What did the guy with big ears say when his boss asked if he could have a word with him?
I’m all ears.
The lion is celebrating a party. All animals are invited except the hamster.
The hamster does not want to miss the party and asks the rabbit, “Hey, rabbit, can´t you smuggle me in behind your big ears to the lion’s party?”
The rabbit´answers, “Nope, I’m not tired of life, if the lion noticed that, it would be my end.”
The hamster then asks the fox, “Listen, fox, can´t you smuggle me in your bushy tail to the lion’s party?”
The fox says, “Are you crazy, if the lion gets it right, then I’ll be dead.”
Finally, the hamster asks the bear and he says, “No problem, I can smuggle you in my breast pocket.”
When the bear visits the party in the evening, the lion asks him, “I’ve heard that the hamster wants to be smuggled in to my party, you probably will not support him, will you?” The bear: “No, of course not!” The lion then says, “Then you certainly don´t mind emptying your breast pocket.”
The bear answers, “Sure, no problem, here’s my purse, here’s my bowl, here’s my ID.”
Suddenly the bear hits the chest with full force. “And here’s a picture of the hamster.”
Your ears are so big, Russian military desperately wants to hire you as a missile detector.
In the beginning of time, Adam was taking a naked stroll through the Garden of Edan, naming the animals.
He found a large creature with a long nose and big ears.
He said, “I think I’ll call you Elephant.”
The elephant replied, “How do you breathe through that thing?!”
Your ears are so big you don’t need a parachute when you go base jumping.
What has big ears, brings Easter treats, and goes, “Hippity-THUD, hippity-THUD, hippity-THUD”?
The Easter Elephant.
Your ears are so big if i blew a hairdryer in your face you’d take off.
You’ve got more ear than a field of corn.
The only thing those ears have never heard before are girls calling back wanting seconds.
Hey. could you look a bit upwards and to the left? I need a boost in cell reception here.
Your ears are so big you use boat paddles for q-tips.
You ears are so big you could probably hear an ears joke several miles away.
What do you call people with big ears?
Nothing, they might hear you.
Your ears are so big you look like a car with both the doors left open.
Did Dr. Frankenstein put the Mr. Potato ears on you without your permission?
Your ears are so big when you stand on a mountain they look like trophy handles.
If walls have ears then you’re the Great Wall of China!
Why do elephants have such big ears?
It doesn’t matter, it’s earelephant.
Big Ear Jokes
If you enjoyed these funny insults and jokes about big ears, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: