Corn Jokes And Puns

We were all ears when we heard these funny corn jokes and puns! Not that we’re stalking you or anything, but how could we not bring them to you? There’s nothing corny about them!

Header image for a page of funny corn jokes and puns.

Funny Corn Jokes

What did the baby corn, say to the momma corn?

Where’s pop corn?

How much does pirate corn cost?

A buck an ear.

Did you hear about the corn cob that joined the army?

It was promoted to kernel.

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans.

The first says, “I’m planning on going into farming, it’s what my father did and it makes good money.”

The second asks, “What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?”

“I don’t know man, there are so many fields to choose from.”

How much does a corn flake weigh?

1 Kelloggram.

Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.

The plot thickens.

What do you call a single kernel on a corn cob?

A unicorn.

Have you ever been to a corn field in the middle of the night

And felt like you were being STALKED It can feel very EARY Sorry about this pun being too CORNY The joke must really SHUCK.

What’s the best food to talk to?

Corn. They’re all ears.

I’m a lazy cook so I prefer Canada recipes…

You know, the ones that say “Add a canada tomatoes, a canada beans, a canada corn…”

Went out and took pictures of wheat, oats, rice, and corn…

Unfortunately, they all came out pretty grainy. One of them you could barley make out.

Why was the farmer scared to go in his corn field?

He was afraid of being stalked.

The potato and corn conglomerate have eyes and ears everywhere.

Do you know where the most expensive corn in the country is from?

From Tampa, it’s a buccaneer.

My dad is a corn magician.

His act is a-maize-ing.

It really pops.

A blonde woman called her brunette friend. “I’m doing a jigsaw puzzle at my apartment, but it’s way too hard for me!”

“What’s the jigsaw supposed to be?” asks the brunette.

“According to the box,” says the blonde, “It’s supposed to be a rooster.”

When the brunette arrives at the blonde’s apartment, she looks at the puzzle pieces.

Then she look at the box.

Then she says to the blonde, “I’m afraid you will not be able to make anything even remotely resembling a rooster.”

This makes the blonde furious.

“Calm down,” says the brunette. “Once you are relaxed, we can start putting the corn flakes back into the box.”

What you call a potato and an ear of corn driving a police car?

Starchy and Husk.

What did the ear of corn say when its clothes fell off?

Ah shucks!

Corn is my favorite vegetable.

It tastes amaizing.

Feed a man corn and he will eat for a day.

Teach a man to grow corn, he will kill your people and steal your land.

I heard that they figured out how to break down and process corn and make it into plastic-like furniture.

Soon you will be able to purchase your very own veggie-table.

Why is corn popular around Halloween?

Because it’s so earie.

What did the corn farmer say to his therapist?

An ear full.

In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked.

It was earie.

Why did the corn farmer win a Nobel Peace Prize?

Because of his dedication to world hominy.

A carrot, some corn and a cucumber fell into the ocean.

Now they’re all C foods.

What did Mike Tyson say about why he hates corn starch?

“It thickens me.”

What is a spider’s favorite food?

Corn on the cob-web.

I asked my son today, “Why do you always sing to your corn on the cob before eating it?”

His explanation was music to my ears.

Why didn’t the corn chip advocate wear shoes?

They believed in Fritos.

My dad’s horse grew a horn out of its forehead after it ate this strange mutant maize.

It was a real unique corn.

I ordered some corn online to be delivered to my house. It never showed up. So I guess it’s true…

Corn flakes.

What happens if you castrate a corn cob?

It becomes a eunuchcorn.

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.

The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey Willis forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I’ll help you get the wagon up later.”

“That’s mighty nice of you,” Willis answered, “But I don’t think Pa would like me to.”

“Aw come on boy,” the farmer insisted.

“Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “But Pa won’t like it.”

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset.”

“Don’t be foolish!” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is he?”

“Under the wagon.”

Why is it risky to tell secrets on a farm?

The corn have ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beanstalk.

A farmer finds a shoebox under his wife’s side of the bed.

The box contained two ears of corn and $4,000.

He went to his wife, “What’s this?”

She replied, “I have a confession to make. Whenever I cheated on you I put an ear of corn in the box.”

The farmer gasps, then thinks, “50 years of marriage…only twice…that’s not too awful.”

He asks, “What about the $4,000?”

His wife said, “Whenever I got a bushel I sold it.”

Sitting with my shoes off next to a warm campfire eating corn chips.

Tostitos.

A guy goes to a therapist.

He says, “Doc, I live in constant fear that I’m a grain of corn and there’s a giant chicken out there who wants to eat me.”

The therapist says, “That’s obviously absurd.”

The doctor works with the man over the course of three years to finally convince him that he’s not a grain of corn that a giant chicken wants to eat.

Finally cured, the man leaves but he’s back the next day.

The doctor says, “Why are you back?”

The man says, “I know that I’m not a grain of corn that a giant chicken wants to eat… but does the chicken know that?”

What the corniest part of a corn field?

The corner.

Two corns in a field were telling each other corny jokes.

They were the laughing stalk of the field.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed our puns and jokes about corn, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes and laughs, such as these pages: