Wig Jokes And Puns

We thought there’d be hell toupee if we didn’t bring you these funny wig jokes and puns! Take your time combing through them – they’re hair-raisingly funny!

Header image for a page of funny wig jokes and puns.

Funny Wig Jokes

I thought my dad spent all his savings on an expensive wig.

But one look and I realised it was a small price toupee.

Not everyone looks good with a wig.

But I think you could really pull it off.

Someone just robbed the local wig store.

The police are combing the area.

My girlfriend caught me trying to stick a tiny blonde wig and a guitar onto a wasp.

She pleaded, “Don’t do that! You’ll make him Sting!”

What’s the best thing about free wigs?

You don’t have toupee for them.

When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn.

He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad – and one day, it will be mine.

It’s our family hair loom.

I went to a Christening where the priest was wearing glasses, a fake nose, fake moustache and a wig.

It was a blessing in disguise.

Some people think the cost of wigs is too high.

Personally, I think it’s a fair price toupee.

What did the wig say to the head?

I got you covered.

James Bond gets called into M’s office.

M: I have a job for you. You will have to disguise yourself as a blond businessman called John Smith.

Bond: But I have dark hair! Do you expect me to wear a wig or something?!

M: No mister Bond, I expect you to dye.

A bald man got a great deal on a wig today – only $1!

It was a small price toupee.

What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?

A receipting hairline.

What do you call a blonde in a brunette wig?

Artificial intelligence.

Why should you never buy a Spanish wig?

If you do, there will be El Toupee.

When Beethoven was asked to wear a wig…

It fell on deaf ears.

A worker tells his boss about a great idea.

The boss says, “Let me think about it,” then pulls a bad 80’s wig from his desk and puts it on.

The worker asks, “What’s that for?”

The boss says, “I need to mull-it over…”

A large truck transporting wigs and toupees has crashed on a major highway sending its cargo everywhere.

Police are still combing the area.

Did you hear about the wig heist in broad daylight?

That was a pretty bald move.

I stole a wig.

I just didn’t want toupee for it.

What do you call a bad wig shop?

Hell Toupee.

My sister said I looked like a German composer and musician of the Baroque period, especially when wearing my powdered wig.

So I changed everything and it changed my life!

I haven’t looked Bach since!

Why was the bird wearing a wig?

Because it was a bald eagle.

I got kicked out of the wig shop because I didn’t want toupee.

An old woman walks into a bank.

The bank was the most reputed one in the small town.

Clerk: “May I help you madam?”

Woman:”I want to open an account and deposit $1,000,000.”

Since it was a lot of money, the clerk sent the woman to the manager’s office.

Manager: “Please don’t mind my asking but how do you happen to have such a large sum of money.”

Woman: “I win bets, for a living.”

Manager: “I am confused.”

Woman: “I can bet that you are actually bald and wearing a wig.”

Manager(thinking that she is mad): “Well this is real hair, you may check it yourself.”

Woman: “How about a bet of a thousand bucks? Tomorrow I will come with my lawyer and check your hair.”

The manager, thinking that he would surely win, nodded.

The next day the woman walked in with a lawyer.

The manager said he was ready and the woman began pulling his hair.

Seeing this the lawyer fainted.

The manager cried, “What happened to him?”

Woman: “Nothing, I bet with him that I could pull the hair of the manager of this town’s most reputed bank and he would let me do so. Poor guy just lost half a million dollars.”

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed combing through our funny jokes about wigs and toupees, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more hilarious jokes, including these: