We’re happy to lease you these funny tenant jokes and puns free of charge! They have a definite tenancy to make people laugh!
Funny Tenant Jokes And Puns
Why do 9 ants get to live in an apartment for free?
Because they’re not tenants.
Why did the 10th Doctor Who never feel like he owned the Tardis?
Because he was just a tenant.
I rented out a room to two beautiful Chinese women.
They never complain, they keep to themselves and they always pay their rent on time.
The only weird thing is they insist on paying me in stir-fry.
But all in all, I guess they’re pretty lo mein tenants.
My landlord asked me, “How are the new tenants above you?”
I said, “They’re okay. But it sounds like they bang on the floor at 1am every nigh.
My landlord said, “That’s terrible; I’ll talk to them about it at once.”
I said, “No. It’s really not that big of a deal. I’m usually up then practising my drumming anyway.”
Nine ants were kicked out of the apartment complex…
Because they were not tenants.
A slumlord prohibits his tenants from painting the doors of their apartments any color other than slate.
He believes there’s nothing like the greyed-out doors.
I once shared renting a property with a man from the army.
I took the right half, and he was the left tenant.
After the death of his wife an elderly man married a young woman.
Now he was spending less time with his friends. His concerned friends enquired if there was a problem.
“I’d like to pass time with you but my poor wife gets lonely when I’m away.”
His friends advised him to keep a young tenant at home, as his wife would be happy in the company of a younger person.
The elderly man promptly acted on their advice and leased a room in house to a young tenant.
The friends were now meeting more often. One day the friends jokingly asked, “How is your wife now?”
“She is not lonely at all, in fact she is happy and she is pregnant.”
The friends laughed, as they expected this. “How is the tenant?” they asked.
The man replied, “She is also pregnant.”
What do you call a Vietnam war hero with a new apartment?
New tenant Dan.
The tenants said the house was haunted.
You’d think I would’ve noticed after 200 years.
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment?
Isaac is stood at the door of the synagogue, with an outstretched hand, asking, “Donate a coin for charity! Donate a coin for charity!”
The Rabbi says, “Hey, Isaac, what are you doing?”
Isaac replies, “Rabbi, I’m raising money for a widow, mother of three little boys, who’s 3 months behind in rent. If she doesn’t pay 1,500 Euro by the end of the day, she’s going to be evicted by the landlord!”
The Rabbi says, “Isaac, how much have you raised already?”
Isaac answers, “I’ve got 1,000 Euro, Rabbi.”
The Rabbi says, “Alright then. This is a very important cause, helping a widow in need. I’ll give you the remaining 500 Euro so you can help her.”
Isaac cries, “Wonderful, Rabbi! I thank you with all my heart, in the widow’s name!”
The Rabbi says, “You have a big heart, Issac. Tell me, is she a relative or something?”
Issac replies, “No Rabbi, she’s my tenant.”
What do you call a veteran who sleeps in a bathroom stall?