Funny Love Jokes
If you love jokes and you're in love, then you'll love these funny love jokes! Even if you're not in a relationship at the moment, you can still get a laugh out of them, because some of them are quite bitter...
So, just because we love you so much, here's a collection of our favorite funny love jokes and humor. If you like them, be sure to check out our collection of funny love quotes too.
He replies, "ABCDEFGHIJK."
The confused wife asks, "What does that mean?"
Her husband replies, "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
The wife says, "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
"I'm just kidding!"
She looked surprised.
You're one of them.
As I sat down next to her I said, "Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?"
She said, "Yes, but I wasn't prepared to pay."
I do this by holding a mirror up to her face.
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
If you force it, you're going to make a mess.
Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
She said, "Ooh, that sound's lovely. What are we having?"
I said, "A pizza and a six-pack of beer."
I think she's a keeper.
Everyone gets a share, and it's only good in theory.
So the doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental.
He says she should slip it into his food at dinner, so that night, she does just that.
About a week later, she goes back to the doctor for her follow-up appointment.
She says, "Doc, that pill you gave me worked great! I hid it in his food just like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, pushed all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!"
The doctor, a little taken aback, says, "I'm sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
The woman says, "Nah, that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."
My girlfriend giggled and asked, "Is that you talking or the beer?"
I said, "It's me talking to the beer..."
Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.
He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs.
His gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh.
By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.
The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.
"Why are you stopping?" she whispered.
He whispered back, "I found the remote."
I couldn't decide which one to get, so I asked the salesman, "If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend, which one would you get?
He said, "A bulletproof one. I'm married."
Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.
Because love means nothing to them.
Are you up for a little row-mance?
The delusion that one woman is different from another.
I said, "I was 18. I walked into a bar and spotted the most beautiful blonde I'd ever seen. Cupid fired his arrow the second I saw her."
He asked, "So what happened?"
I said, "Nothing. Unfortunately the arrow missed and hit your Mother."
Happy Independence Day!
Do you think it's rude to ask people to send a picture holding today's newspaper?
She replied, "Oh, really? :)"
I said, "Yes, it's my favourite vowel."
It was love at first bite.
You're probably not using enough lube.
He fell in love with a pincushion.
Funny Love Jokes
If you enjoyed our funny love jokes, be sure to check out the rest of our funny joke pages too, such as these: