Funny Love Quotes

Love is a wonderful thing but it can also be a funny thing too, in both senses of the word. And these funny love quotes sum this up perfectly.

So look on the funny side of love, and enjoy these hilarious love quotes. If you like them, be sure to check out our other funny quotes pages too.

A page of funny quotes about love

48 Funny Love Quotes

First love is a kind of vaccination which saves man from catching the complaint the second time.

Honore de Balzac

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Jackie Mason

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

Charles Schulz

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

Oscar Wilde
Funny Love Quotes - A man is incomplete

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Joan Rivers

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

Jules Renard

Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Pauline Thomason

It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.

Agatha Christie

Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.

Judith Viorst

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Tim Allen

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

Albert Einstein

You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

Henry Youngman
Funny Love Quote By Woody Allen - Love is the answer

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.

Woody Allen

Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.

Oscar Wilde

When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.

Richard Lewis

A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick. A youth with his first girl makes everybody sick.

Mary Wilson

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

Helen Rowland

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Woody Allen

Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.

A.A. Milne

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

Oscar Wilde

Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Phyllis Diller

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Franklin P. Jones

Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Ambrose Bierce

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.

Joan Crawford

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

W. Somerset Maugham

A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.

Friedrich Nietzsche
Funny Quote About Love - Joyce Brothers

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.

Joyce Brothers

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.

Will Ferrell

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.

Richard Jeni

Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

Jewish Proverb

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

Lily Tomlin

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.

Judith Viorst

Love thy neighbor – and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

Mae West

When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged.

James Montgomery Bailey

Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.

Miss Piggy

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

George Carlin

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.

Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.

George Burns

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

Neil Gaiman

A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left.

Marilyn Monroe

Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.

Oscar Wilde

A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.

Jane Austen

Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.

Lemony Snicket

I am very interested and fascinated how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other.

Stephen Chbosky

Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.

Candace Bushnell

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

Robert Frost

Funny Quotes About Love

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