3 years ago I married my best friend.
My girlfriend was angry but me and Dave thought it was hilarious.
Relationship Jokes
Funny relationship jokes are always engaging (see what we did there!), and none more so than this hilarious collection of jokes about relationships that we’ve put together. There’s something to cover every aspect of being in a relationship.
So we hope you enjoy these funny relationship jokes.
Popular Relationship Jokes Links
Feminist Jokes
You might think that feminist jokes would be offensive. But here at LaffGaff, we’re all for equality, and that means everyone should be laughed at equally!
Love Jokes
They say love is blind but these jokes are an eye-opener! If you love jokes and you’re in love, then you’ll love these funny love jokes!
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes
These funny Valentine’s Day quotes sum up the greatness (annoyance?) of the special day for lovers.
Funny Pick Up Lines
These funny pick up lines are sure to help you in the dating game. Or not. Whatever, they’re hilarious!
Latest Relationships Jokes
Mugshot Picture
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won’t admit she framed me.
Stomach Butterflies
My son asked, “Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!”
I gently put my arm around him and replied, “That’s easy son…”
“Stop eating caterpillars!”
Write A Book
My wife said, “Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”
I said, “That’s a novel idea.”
Poor Sense Of Direction
My wife claims I have a poor sense of direction.
I don’t know where she’s coming from.
Laundry Argument
My wife and I were having this huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Finally, I threw in the towel.
Revolving Chair
My wife hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then she sat on it.
She soon came around.
Bodybuilding Program
My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning.
It’s a girl and weighs 7 lbs 12 oz.
Bad In Bed
My new girlfriend told me I’m terrible in bed.
I told her it’s unfair to make a judgement in less than a minute.
Favorite Herb
My wife just threw away my favorite herb.
She’s such a thyme waster.
Describe Me
I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I’m mature, I’m moral, I’m pure, I’m polite and I’m perfect!
Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.
Expensive Belt
I spent $80 on a belt that didn’t fit.
My wife said it was a huge waist.
Tennis Obsession
My wife said she’s leaving me because of my obsession with tennis – and I’m too old.
I said, “I’m only 40 love.”
Reporting Career
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
Cremation Wish
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated.
She made an appointment for Tuesday.
Chest Hair
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.
Horoscope Obsession
My girlfriend just couldn’t accept my obsession with horoscopes.
In the end it Taurus apart.
Two Faults
My wife tells me I have 2 major faults.
I don’t listen – and something else.
Ultimatum
My wife gave me an ultimatum.
It was either her or my addiction to sweets.
The decision was as easy as pie.
A Lot Like Algebra
Relationships are a lot like algebra.
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
